a world of made is not a world of born

The group had decided to take it slow, after the altercation with Daighre had crescendoed into carnal disarray. There were wounds that needed to be tended to and energy that needed to be recouped. A witch, a cat, and a child were not the ideal companions for a longer-term convalescent period in the quickening frigidity of winter, in unknown, unwelcome lands. Despite their injuries (which were mostly superficial) they changed rendezvous sites often and carefully avoided pack borders, not wishing to bring more ill-will upon themselves in a weakened state.

Thankfully, having three vastly different personalities meant her small family unit was strong in ways that Olive was, ultimately grateful for. Olive had their direction and vision for the future, @benry had brawn (whether he realized it or not), and @Archon had enough youthful vigor to keep the injured two going. They shared stories and cast jokes, and more often than not, the two males would gang up on the sylph and make fun of her many mystifying proclivities. If anything, they managed to keep each other in high spirits, and that was okay with Olive.

Many times, the shrouded sylph wondered if they should descend unto the mountainous, clouded valley where Riannon settled. It would offer them safety and quietude (and, of course, was their eventual destination), but Olive was feeling fiery & stubborn. She didn't want the woman to assume this was a decision made of necessity, not of the combined power of fate and free will. There was no 3D force in the world, she believed, that could force her hand. Aware of the optics of the situation, Olive hid out in the enclave of the mountains a little while longer.

While she waited, the little herbalist sought out the autumnal herbs that might help her and Benry's body more rapidly heal their low-level wounds. Her black-leather nose poked around the base of a tree, seeking familiar plant scents, knowing they could not linger her forever.

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he really didn't feel much pain, save for the random twining itches. that was familiar at least, much to his annoyance.

with winter here he was fluffier than usual, another itch that just made him antsy and unsettled. if it was noticeable enough for olive to tell, he couldn't say.

unable to sit still, he followed after olive, frowning dubiously as he approached. “what, cha lookin...lookin Fer shrrooms, now? ”
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Benry was first to find her, as he almost always was. The woman grinned at the familiar sight of the cat slinking up behind her, ever-curious about the general goings-on of the group. The slight woman paused in her perusal, her feathered tail wagging slowly, her entire mien lifting and lightening to welcome him into her space.  They weren't in the Hiraeth anymore; they were officially in this shit together.

The cat, of course, came in offering jokes about who she was (a 'criminal') and what she was doing (any variety of 'drugs'), to which Olive chuffed heartily and wagged her tail. Perhaps there was even a twinkle in her eye, because the druid didn't really know what she was looking for, but she couldn't say that she wasn't looking for mushrooms. They healed the body as well as the mind, after all. "That depends," the pale witch said with a cock of her head and a twist of a wry smile. "Would you like some?"

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benry's ears pricked up. he'd never tried mushrooms. he knew they were good, and that they were drugs, but good drugs, right? still, he had to confirm. “yee.” he chirruped, trotting closer to her side. “gotta, gotta try the goods 'fore i...'fore i confiscate 'em.” yeah...that was how it went, right? totally.

she wouldn't know enough to correct him he hoped.
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Interestingly, Benry accepted her offer in his typical roundabout manner. The witch only smiled and nodded assuredly, as if clearly that was the only option for a man of his moral upstanding. That and — it has been a while since she had partaken in any sort of hallucinogenic ceremony, and the prospect excited her, given she was within the safe confines of her closest friendship. "I'll show you where to find them," she conceded to the officer, "lest they fall into more innocent hands," which would be a shame, wouldn't it? Such treasures were squandered far too often on individuals who didn't know how to use them.

Thankfully it was a dreary season and thankfully the sun had been hiding behind clouds and cold for weeks, creating the perfect conditions for fungus to grow. And, wouldn't you know it, but there were several felled trees in the general vicinity — Olive went to each one in succession, sniffing at the dank, moist underside that was nearly pressed into the earth. On the third tree, she found what she sought: tiny clusters of mushrooms, all with white stems and a taupe top, reminding her of a herd of whitetail deer in the summer. With an adept paw, she removed several from the decaying tree's woody exterior and nudged them closer to the cat who trailed her.

"Confiscate this," she suggested with a rye glint to her eye, and a skip disrupting the drum of her heart.

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“can't havvve you corruptin' the youths.” he said, thinking of archon. “essooooo...no es buen....no.” he made a show of looking at everything closely, as if he was committing the location to memory.

she'd presented him with a few shrooms and before he knew it himself, one of them was in his mouth and being chewed briefly before he swallowed, his face blank as ever.

benry NO

---

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The woman watched, fanciful and fascinated, as her friend supped on the small vegetal charcuterie she had laid before him. Olive knew that these, as most medicines went, were not the most palatable fare. She might have said something about how he oh-so-vehemently refused to eat insects due to their taste, when he ate these with no qualms (which tasted very similarly, and this wasn't for bodily sustenance); but Olive knew it was all about mindset from here on out, and Olive would relent her unnecessary teasings.

Olive worked to procure more for her own use, which the nibbled on for a moment before drawing them into her mouth, crushing the soft fruiting bodies between her teeth, and swallowing. "Give it some time," she instructed, not sure how familiar Benry was with this process, but offering him the aid anyways. "Let's do something fun to distract us," she suggested, "Then i'll be like drifting away into a dreamscape, and you won't even realize it."

The waif wished there was a body of water nearby to quench her growing thirst and rid her mouth of some of the earth's grittiness. A quick lift of the nose and sensing of the air told her that, if there was water, it was deep beneath the loam or far away from here. Shifting her body posture downwards again, her green eyes blinked and refocused on Benry. "Game of eye-spy?" she chirped, assuming it would be a grounding practice for one who already was so untethered, and dared become more unbalanced due to the influence of the medicine.

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he'd eaten the shroom too fast. he coughed, spooking himself as the reflex shuddered through his body. the noise was sharp and throaty. his eyes went wide and his ears splayed to the side as his tongue extended. after the coughs subsided, he spoke, rasping. “7.8 outta 10. too muchhhh, water.”

benry looked puzzled (well, more so than usual). “time fer what...” sudden panic filled him. shit, why'd he eat that? was it a drug? it had to be, this was olive we're talking about. “sure.” he shrugged. he didn't feel anything yet.
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Olive was stricken with sudden concern as Benry claimed not to know what he was in for. Olive would never deign to drug a participant unwillingly, or subterfuge them into an experience that they did not explicitly agree to. Consecration was a big part of the entire experienced, and where there was no intention, there was no consecration.

Olive looked Benry directly in the eyes, desiring him to focus on her, and hear her words. "You just ate mushrooms," she explained, wondering for a moment why benry was such a child and could not be held accountable for the things he said. Then she glanced at the collar 'round his neck, and Olive shook her own head, neck and shoulders to loosen the tension that suddenly plagued her. With a much lighter energy, she continued. "In a little while, you'll probably feel... light, and connected with all that's around you. You'll experience the many difference layers of existence." That probably sounded too heady and esoteric for Benry, but she didn't want to lie to him. Maybe he'd even find the experience interesting, as well as deepening.

"You might even see some pretty... colors, too." she added with a smile, as this was the only part of the medicine that she was unable to replicate through meditation and prayer alone. "Just remember, you are in control of everything." The sylph concluded, wanting Benry to be informed, but not overthinking it all. So, the woman ushered him onto the next subject:

"I spy with my little eye, something that's... yellow."

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he frowned at her. “uhh, yeah?” he thought it was obvious what he had eaten. “oh-” he cut himself off inadvertently, fishing his tongue through his mouth to find the remaining pieces of the mushroom's flesh in his mouth. he didn't feel a thing at first. so he shrugged it off — there were plenty of normal, good mushrooms to eat alongside the weird ones. maybe she was exaggerating.

“mmmmm....” he hummed, squinting at the land around them. “the..the mushrooms?” he asked, wondering if this was a trick question.
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lol @ how there are still leaves on the ground in this thread.

---

Benry seemed unperturbed about the fact that he had unwittingly eaten psychedelics, so Olive decided to let it go, too. She had done her job by disclosing and preparing him for what came next, and now they had no other choice but to ride the waves of whatever came their way, for better or for worse. She wanted to ensure Benry was safe, but she had to think about her own experience, too.

Feeling light and more relaxed from the moment prior, Olive sat down and smiled despite herself, and despite her friend giving the wrong answer to her silly little pup game. "Nooo," she cooed, "That's not it."The pale seraph then furrowed her brown and looked directly at Benry, so that her glancing eye wouldn't give it away — although the complexity of her hint wouldn't do much to obscure the answer. "I'll give you a hint... They're not always yellow. This thing is only yellow when it's in the process of falling." and she stamped a foot briefly, perhaps giving away the fact that it was related to the ground. She wasn't trying to bend his brain here, or make him figure out riddles — just to focus on something else, until the effects of the mushrooms became noticeable.

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what is time lol

---

awareness came on him slowly, even without her prompting. “oh.” he felt his lip twitch at her words. “o-olive, im not-t-t. 'm not stupid.” he fixed her with a glare, almost deadly serious.

he felt, as everything kicked in, like his mind was sharpened. as if the mushrooms were a whetstone for his psyche. his heart thrummed in his chest, but it was almost pleasant, like a upright bass' strings being plucked. “ssstop thinkin' im stupid, please? mmnot. i-iiii know what's, what's happenin'.” his words were still slurred. he didn't mind it though, they always were. “just don' care.”
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There was a slight curdling in Olive's gut as her game did not ring as genuine and fun with her cohort. Realizing that she had perhaps overdone it with her oh-so-easy clue, her eyes flashed with a twinge of guilt, and she he felt an undercurrent of surprise light her mind from its relaxation.

She couldn't pinpoint why she and Benry were so out of sync in this moment — but was this moment so unlike any moment prior? Olive easily noticed their differences and delighted in them. Not once did she think him stupid, and it (slightly) saddened her to think that this was what he assumed her opinion was. In fact, she was ever-happy to cater to his needs; in this, and in all moments. In this air, Olive said nothing of her thoughts, and she breathed stillness into the fluttering of her heart, and did her best to wipe any sort of supercilious expression from her face. This all came easily, now. 

"Okay," she assented in a quiet voice, holding the weight of his gaze with her own, but dropping her head and tail in subtle, lupine deference. A beat of silence passed, and Olive could not help but notice the effect of the mushrooms as it eked into her awareness — tendrils of serenity, like a salve to her frenetic conscience. Her swimming gaze dropped to the ground, thinking that it felt rather soft — as her mind thought those thoughts, her mouth spoke the words. "I don't think you're stupid." she said. "Honestly, I like how you can be so laissez-faire," she glanced up, thought that his fur too looked reaaaaally soft, but she refrained — and looked off towards the sky, through the fringe of tree canopy. She couldn't help but simper and smile, even as she said the next words about herself. "Sometimes I get a little high-strung about things. This..." The sunlight, the air, the earth underfoot, you, me, "...it helps."

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he rolled onto his back, staring up at the sky.

he doesn't answer her for a while, his tail twitching, more rhythmically, almost in line with his heartbeat.

“if i was like- like this all the time, i wouldn't be here,” he says quietly, horror and sorrow creeping into his voice as the conclusion comes to him. “they wouldn'ta....wouldn't'vvvv thrown me out.”
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The sky was splendid. It had a luminescent, undulating quality to it that she had never seen before; she could always easily perceive the pulse of earth’s energy, but this was different. Her view was pixelated, and within each pixel was a rainbow — infinite rainbows that, when one stepped back, made up the entire sky. and step back she did, shimmying her hips to wheedle backward several paces, and she squinted and cocked her head at the pulsating, rainbow-blue expanse above.

Olive was aware that this was not an experience meant to make logical sense, so she lost herself inside of it. The happiness of the sky pervaded her very being and she grinned, and she breathed, and she wanted for naught. Her breath spread her ribs in a subtle, yet most pleasurable way. It was a joy to breathe, and to listen to Benry’s voice, and he warbled about being thrown out of someplace.

"Whooo?” she cooed her question, quickly imagining herself a great horned owl, and subsequently devolving into a small bout of laughter. This type of breathing felt even better than the last, so she did not try to stifle herself. Still, as small tears pricked at her eyes, she tried to gauge in Ben Ben’s soft, golden face if he had ascertained her question, outside of the inescapable gigglefit. Who were “they”? It couldn’t have been Little Haven, could it?

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benry speaking in complete sentences is a fuckin abomination

---

olive was having the time of her life on these things. had she eaten more than him? or did it just hit different for everyone? he wasn't feeling pleasant, per se, just...honed. maybe a bit giddy, but he found that he couldn't hold onto that for too long. he could feel his heartbeat as if it came from the ground itself, as if it were the world's heartbeat. and maybe it was? he didn't know.

“the —” he started, expecting his voice to drawl and stutter as it normally did. but it felt even, certain, focused. “the ones who...who put this on me.” he gestured to the collar on his neck. “the ones who made me.”
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she hit him with the

---

Olive really was having the time of her life. In a career spent cataloguing different plants and their sometimes hallucinogenic & spiritually healing properties, she generally understood mushrooms to have a subtle, natural effect to them. The things that happened made sense, and she felt fully in control of her body. This could not be said for all drugs, especially those poisons that came from frogs. Perhaps more cleansing to the mind than mushrooms, but the process was that more jarring and distressing. Mushrooms were kind and gentle, with provoked the kind and gentle spirit within Olive.

Benry pointed to the collar on his neck, and in any other instance, Olive would have likely wildly overthought and overreacted to such a forbidden mention; but it was like she didn't even realize he has actually mentioned the collar and she responded in a voice that was rightfully wondrous. "Damn, that's crazy," she commended truthfully, striding over to where he lay (oh, how she could feel every blade of grass, diminutive stick and layered dirt that comprised the ground underfoot!) and placing her nose on the collar, giving the strange texture a whuff.

"I was made by my mom and dad," she added, inanely. Honestly, she thought it was little strange to refer to one's parents in the way Benry just had, but she was not one to judge strained family relationships. Maybe this was normal for cats, who normally lived solitarily. Wondering what he might say, she remarked with a need for clarification. "Then who made you?" she questioned, lazily dropped to the earth beside the golden feline, nuzzling into the short furs on his shoulder.

Not attempting to placate him at all, she purred "because they've made one of the most interesting people i've ever met," and meant it entirely. She briefly hoped that his own insecurities would not assume she was being sarcastic, as it was just something she just had to say, because it felt good to say it. If Benry would let it, it would probably feel good to receive, too.

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Evil Olive be like:

---

he hummed quietly in affirmation. it was weird, considering everything else he had learned about the world and how it truly, actually worked. “i don't think i had those?” he didn't have the words, even with his focus, to explain what he had somewhat know had happened to create him. “i don't — no one was involved. they just put the parts together and i was made. still a baby and what not but.” he said. “no birth. no contractions, no labor, just. kinda. popped it open and out i came.” he gestured with his paws, making a explosive movement as he popped his lips.

he let out a half-flustered purr at her compliment, and his head moved to bonk hers in silent thanks. “they were humans. big ol' furless monkeys. there were lots. all sorts. some were like, like my doctors, some were my babysitters, an' some were my teachers. but the — the teachin' part didn't last long once they figured out i wasn't like the others.” there might have been other divisions now that he was thinking about it. other species of animals being made and trained in the same way as he was. but he never saw them, despite getting out of the rest of training. “i passed basic trainin' an'a bit else but lil' more. wasn't good. 'm spacey and not mean enough. 'm surprised they didn't just kill me or somethin'.” he shrugged, before rolling over and throwing his paws over her. “i guarded the lab afterwards.” that was the job description, but it wasn't much of his actual time. really, he was more like the lab mascot — he cuddled and played with the humans and got treats and watched them stare at their strange screens, working, watching, playing games and whatever else they did. he knew what all that was, but still failed to conjure them to tell olive. it required too much background, too many words.

he still wondered why he got thrown out into the wild if he wasn't made proper. he had done his job. he kept weirdos and criminals out. he kept morale up. but he knew the different groups of acceptable lab humans, despite working together, didn't all agree. he'd heard them fighting often enough to know that, smelt their annoyance and anger. he figured that it was something like that, but deep down knew that he would never really know. maybe it was the mushrooms, but he just...accepted that and burrowed contently into olive's side, purring up a storm.
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Again, Olive lost herself looking at the spiral-dance of the clouds in the sky, and the bobbing-bounce of the branches that made up the thin tree cover, all while her ears craned and listened to Benry's fantastical story as if it were a telenovela. The idea that someone wasn't born — instead, they just simply begun existing — wasn't exactly foreign to her (didn't most wolves in Canis wake up here with little recollection of their pasts?). Even the concept of Humans was something she had been introduced to by the tiny fellow Moosebellow, so instead of something obscene or truly crazy, Benry's story read very... palatable, and interesting to follow.

“Some might say that’s how we all were made;” she managed to interject, rocking her head to the side of offer him the cock of a brow. “Handcrafted by the Gods to be bespoke, all different pieces put together so that we're... different.” but it wasn't that important, and they plodded along through their conversation, and when benry seemed to have concluded with him acting as a guard, Olive had a realization. "So that's why you're so good at what you do," she chirruped as her mind lassoed the two benry's together as one: the benry from his story, and the benry who guarded her now. He had been trained in the art, as she had been trained in medicine, and she inherently understood the innate desire a soul had to practice its own craft and skill. Seeing things crystal-clearly, Olive found the answer she had been searching for; to the question she always asked. Why does Benry put himself in harm's way, for me?

All social filters stripped from her mind, the shrouded woman spoke perhaps too plainly when she allowed her tail to dust his own, and murmured "Not good enough for humans," she attempted to summarize her many interlinking thought bubbles. "but good enough for me." and she scrunched her nose and shrugged her shoulders, trying to pace the warmth that blossomed in her heart-space at the beauty that was cause, effect, coincidence — life itself.

She sighed and wiggled her spine against the earth. "I've heard of humans before," she offered as commentary. She bit her lip, and narrowed her gaze at the sky. "from another..................................... cat," Olive stammered, half-forgetting her intention but finding it again. She had never seen a human personally, and she found it strange that both mentions of two-legged walkers came from cats. "maybe they're more of a kitty-cat thang," she said as she exhaled fully, sinking back into her body. It was almost like she could picture them now, and when she did, they figured they must look a lot like what a lizard-bird must look like.

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he rolled onto his back, still pressed firmly into olive's side. “good 'nuff,” that was enough for him, to hear from her. he didn't want to diminish her praises, but the niggling was at the back of his mind, whispering that she wasn't the best judge of martial prowess.

he stretched his hands — huh?
he stretched his paws above him. already drifting into that strange dream world where he pondered the idea of being another species. a human, in most cases. but sometimes, more often lately, a wolf. the humans in his lab were a variety of colors and shapes — even spoke a variety of languages — and he wondered what he would look like if he was one of them, one of the human guards instead.

he flexed his paws, watching the claws glint in the light. he hoped he'd have claws, if he were human. or more human shaped. and, well, if he were a wolf, he wouldn't have these claws either. they had boring-ass claws. practically nails.

he realized he'd zoned out, “bitty kitty,” he said. the words coming from his lips felt more like an echo, a mimic of someone else's words while they pointed at a smaller cat on their screen. he knew who, but didn't dare utter their name. it felt like too much. he felt like he was blurring between worlds and times. he needed to come back. “you, you, uh,” he turned his head to her. “what about before? for you? before you came here.”
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