build your walls around me

 

Nikolai was used to traveling. His paws had long since calloused from rock and unforgiving terrain. The hours folding around him as he navigated a path, hunted, bedded down, repeat. It held a different meaning now. He walked with Tallulah at his side and he walked with a destination: Elysium. It felt easy enough, choosing to follow her, but he couldn't help but wish they'd take their time... the vagabond ways he lived by rearing their head, thinking the two of them could move slow, knowing that when they returned to the respite things would change. For the better, he hoped, but never could he be sure as he wondered what it'd be like if things fell and Elysium refused to be his home. He wasn't so selfish as to ask Tallulah to follow him into the unknown if it went wrong. He wished he was. It'd allow him to be brave and walk these final miles without worry in such weight it'd strengthen his shoulders, surely. Nikolai wasn't brave on this, no, he wasn't because whatever he and she shared was... well, he didn't know but it was theirs. He'd never ask her to choose between this and the home she'd made.

 

Fuck, did he wish he was able to be brave.

 

Instead, they opted to rest, recoup a little before clearing the last leg; familiar grounds, he breathed and lowered himself to the earth, dark eyes keen on her as he did so. They'd rest and get back to it... yeah, that was okay.

---

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Slowly, surely, she was getting used to someone near her. Before now, she kept them at arm's length and refused to see them deeper. Refused them in a deeper way. Ms. Valeska and Ms. Amaranth were different in the sense... that they were her leaders. That she cared about them because she had grown to see them as friends as well. She trusted them, yes, but they made it so she could also have opinions of her own. That she didn't have to blindly follow them.

Because they were her leaders made the woman work harder to trust and respect them. Nick was different. He was not her leader. He was not anyone outranking her. He didn't even belong to Elysium yet. He was just a vagabond, who had come into her life. Made a big impact in such a short time. Giving it up for her... To say she felt bad about it... But she did mean what she said; if it didn't work out in the pack, she'd still like to meet up with him. She'd still like to see him. That wouldn't change. 

No, Nick was different. 

In a good way, mind. He made her want to try to get out of her shell, when before she was comfortable in it. The pair hunkered down for the night, Tallulah's restlessness making her shuffle a few times. Nick watched her out of the corner of his eye, her struggling to get comfortable. She felt antsy. I reckon I won't be able to sleep much. It was one of those things about sleeping in an unknown place. She got used to Elysium's borders, so much so that she felt nervous outside.

She shifted one final time before turning, feeling Nick's eyes on her still. Tallulah utters a breathless laugh. "Am I keepin' ya up?"

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Nikolai certainly didn’t lack intuitivity, nor feeling, as Tallulah turned and shifted and tried to get comfortable only to fall back once. When she spoke up, he hummed a no and pressed close to her, lifting his head to lay it upon her shoulder. He could still catch her glance when she opted to deliver it. In this position, though, the wolfdog could effortlessly lick at her face, throat, tease her pulse beneath his tongue made comfortable by the commonality this was becoming—ever attentive. He certainly didn’t allow space for any doubt of his affections to rise.

 

”Naw, I ain’t tired yet, darlin’,” he soothed her, ceasing his groom to sigh. Pretty comfortable now, got a fine sight… Hope I’m not keepin’ ya’ up an’ at ‘em.”

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"Izzat so?" Tallulah couldn't help shyly smiling, insides squirming, at his comment. A fine sight? Her? He'd have to put up with a few insecurities about herself sometimes, but she almost felt pride right now. She stretched her paws and front legs out, her toes widening before retracting. He certainly wasn't shy, so she tried not to be forever. Even if this was a whole new ground to tread upon... Inside, she wore a shit-eating grin.

"If we both cannae sleep, how about som'thing to do?" she added, though did not move from her comfortable position next to him "hunt?" Tallulah knew he wasn't confident about that so she moved on "friendly bout?" He may not know borders very well, and there was no need to really fight in Elysium... But she was curious if he could hold his own "yer strong" she commented, recalling how easy he took down the sheep "m' fast. Wanna see who'll win?"

This time, she wore her grin. A challenge, albeit friendly.

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It wasn't hard to see when someone was feeling fine. Tallulah looked fine as ever and he could tell she was feeling it. A bit selfishly, he liked to think he goaded that, fed her ego; he wanted to be a reason she felt ethereal. A reason. Because she'd be it with or without him. "Ya' bet, 'm real lucky, I'd be a fool to not drink ya' in."

 

His ears twitched a little, simply watching her as she spoke before he cracked a grin. "Ya' think 'm strong, well damn, don't go n' give me a big head," with a smack of his jaws, he pulled away from her a little to stretch, something sweet and cocky in his tone as he shot her a sideways glance. "'m yeah, yer fast alright but I think I can handle ya'..." Nikolai spoke with something reminiscent of a purr, but not quite, standing up.

 

He wiggled his shoulders, tail wagging and a chuckle in his throat. "Fancy ya' as I do, darlin', I think I'd like ta' see ya' pinned," he said. "Safe ta' say I'm all in."

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ooc; 25/25 HP - rolled nat 1 (ouch) - 1d10 roll
warrior skill
 

He was making her feel flustered again.

Her cheeks burned a bright red, obvious due to their creamy light coloration. He, what? He wanted to see her pinned underneath him. Gods above. He better not talk like this at Elysium's border! She had a feeling Valeska and Amaranth would roar with laughter - Valeska more so, teasing and poking around. Amaranth would just lift her brows and use a biting, clever remark. "Y-Yer gonna be the one to be pinned!" she blurted out without thinking as she rushed him.

Perhaps she realized what she said as she neared. It caused her to start, stumble and almost fall over. She halted in front of Nick instead of colliding with him, her weak attack not displaying a very good attempt at making her eat her own words. She blundered after a hesitation, aiming a nibble at his neck instead of clamping down. Almost like she was scared or something. No, no. She... She wasn't scared, was she? Why would she be scared? He could take a whooping, surely.

Damn it! He distracted her! Unknowingly or not. He was distracting her with his charm and good looks and... 

Damn it.

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24/25 HP — rolled nat 1 ; 1d10 roll

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The flustered way she reacted fell on him like water off a duck's back, focusing entirely on what she'd said in the moments before she charged him like a furious ram. "By ya'? I'd like that," he told her, voice thick and rasping. Instinctively, the wolfdog danced back to avoid her promsied attack—that never came. Instead, Tallulah stumbled to a stop before him, reaching to bite at his neck none unlike she was fleaing him. Nikolai didn't hate it, grin lopsided as he bumped his head against hers and nipped at her cheek, moved away.

 

He whuffed, shaking out his fur and beckoning her again. His attack was a mere mirror to hers. He'd let her set their beginning pace. "Oh, c'mon, don't wanna see me under ya'?" Nikolai wiggled his shoulders enticingly. "I know I can't wait till yer' beneath me, darlin'." Had anyone eavesdropped, this surely wouldn't have sounded like a spar. Nikolai, for this, punctuated his sentence with a snap of his jaws, a low growl.

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ooc; 24/25 HP - rolled 6 - 1d10 roll
warrior skill
 

Oh, he was going to get it now. She growled, playful and half-huffed, and lunged. His little tickle of her cheek only fueled the competitiveness, his words clever and enticing but — no, she needed to tune him out for once! Tallulah aimed low, attempting to grab his right front leg and yank it from under him.

Her hold wasn't very strong, not as strong as it could be, because this wasn't a real fight. Well, it was... But she considered the spars she had done 'not real fighting'. It was training. She'd show Nick she could fight, not just hunt. But somehow, she thought this was important. Even when she shouldn't. They would surely have more 'fights'. Right?

No, no. This was more or less a playful dance, banter included. She couldn't snap something back, his leg in her mouth. He was sturdier and she focused all her energy on making him buckle. Oof, it was like holdin' onto a tree trunk!

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18/25 — rolled nat 6 ; 1d10 roll

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This time, Tallulah didn't so much as amuse his whims, reacting on a dime drop. Nikolai snorted at her growls, bigger without doubt but slower, immensely. He couldn't dodge her low-snapping assault. She swept his foreleg up, he stumbled, hind end thumping against the earth once with a groan on his lips. Recovery time was fine once he wedged his leg back, hitting four paws again in a few heartbeats. He rolled a growl, light, nothing nasty but intent.

 

This was a spar. He knew it. A dance of sorts, unlike the moves made in an honest one-on-one, Nikolai wasn't working at his best nor did he try to, content to have the dappled wolf claiming his focus.

But he wasn't going easy, neither. Nikolai readied himself, and assessed her—swift as she was, he'd have to use his weight, somewhat. With a playful bark he lunged, feigning an attack for her foreleg until, last second, he turned and shoved his shoulder against her; he refrained on the intensity as much as he could. He didn't want to her and he remained skilled enough to know how not to.

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ooc; 18/25 HP - rolled 9 - 1d10 roll
warrior skill
 

Success!

Perhaps it was silly to get so damn distracted, but she still had more to learn about tuning charming foes out. Usually, when she sparred, her foe was silent. Nick, of course, had to talk. He had to goad her. He had to flirt. Obviously, which is what she did like. The attention and focus, no other man had given her before now. Most of all, she liked his playful banter. Folks could be so serious, herself included, so it was a nice change of pace.

Nick fell back, yanked. He got up and recovered rather easily. It was funny and also admirable. He fell heavily with a grunt but rose to face her again. He came at Tallulah again, feinting a move to cleverly slip another. She raised her foreleg away from his waiting jaws, only to be shoved a bit. Not as strong as he could have, with his superior weight. They both didn't want to hurt the other. However, she was getting in the groove. Unfortunately, she came in a bit strong.

Swinging back like a spring, she pivoted her body back and dove at him. Her head rammed into his chest, trying to wind the man a bit. Her lips curled into a friendly smirk below his chin.

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9/25 — rolled nat 8 ; 1d10 roll

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"I don't go an' tire that easy, darlin'," he quipped, words vague enough yet his tone warm and catching so that it'd leave her lost on what he meant precisely. Tallulah, whether she bit his bait or not, didn't reveal it, rocked halfheartedly by his push and retaliating expertly.

The angle she took him at was awkward, stiff, and Nikolai couldn't so swiftly move himself limbs as she did.

It wasn't a surprise that when she slammed into him, her teeth a sensation near his throat he wished to meet for half a second. And then he fell, hind legs clumsy and his body reluctant to twirl and twist, Nikolai hit the ground fierce, his own weight a hammer to his muscles that fought the decision to rise. It took longer this time to stand. He managed. And then he grinned. "Oh, c'mon, I won't mind if ya' use yer teeth—bite, I won't mind." Nikolai shook out the tension from his body, braced, and then lunged for her. His force landed softer than he was used to, they rolled, leaving who would remain on top of this tumbleweed of a tussle unknown.

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ooc; 10/25 HP - rolled 4 - 1d10 roll
warrior skill
 

"Hey!"

He had gotten up quicker this time, but her 'protest' was more playfully annoyed. He managed to roll both of them, over and over. She squirmed against his hold, trying to pin him like he had asked. The force he used was stronger, but both of them were tiring anyway. It used all her strength to try to force both of them onto their sides. Her side tickled the grass. His side tickled the grass, locked together with their limbs.

Nobody was on top of the other. It worked out almost perfectly, to be frank. Nobody wore the proverbial pants right now. And that was perfectly fine. Tallulah huffed as her neck flashed out like a serpent, grabbing hold of the man's front neck. She didn't crunch too hard, just held him in place with a lifted brow. The piebald woman placed both paws on his shoulders, tail wagging behind her. If she was tired, she wasn't going to be as serious.

Back-to-back almost spars in Elysium... Now a tussle with Nick. Factoring in the hunt, it was no wonder she felt easily weary. She almost - almost is key - released him. A sudden desire to bop her nose against his was strong.

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5/25 — rolled nat 1 ; 1d10 roll

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It didn't go as planned, clearly.

Nikolai's force caused a momentum that rolled them and dirt and spit and grass until, at once, the pace slowed, and the pair ragdolled together. Their limbs tangled, grass jutting up around them, his jaws open wide as he panted through a cocky smile with his eyes finding hers... until—

—he swallowed, her teeth to his skin, breath hot on his neck. It should've been a best he sought to beat. Nikolai, however, didn't protest this. In fact, he hummed—no, growled—something positively delighted at her touching him. The brute-ish side of him revealed. The trust it took to ease in one's tender grasp as this, he'd never let just anybody do it.

Tallulah wasn't just anybody.

"Damn, I don't reckon I look as good as ya' would like this," he said, making the move to shake himself from her grasp before easing forward, nibbling at her cheek, muzzle. "Ya' wanna give my assumption a try?" A tease, halfway. Nikolai knew better than to think she'd fold before a conclusion. Tired as he was, neither would he. Not for much, at least.

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ooc; 9/25 HP - rolled 7 - 1d10 roll
warrior skill
 

"I dunno," He tried to break free. What a mistake to make. She let him nuzzle her cheek before she pushed against him, pushing her body upward to properly pin him this time. Tallulah found a bit of strength left. Be it fueled by his words or not. With one paw on the man's upper chest, she grinned down at him with a wicked smirk. "ya look mighty good from up here," she cawed, allowing her walls to break a smudge to tease and play "do I look good from down there?"

She gathered her smaller body to sit right on top of the man. Oh, she knew he was quite capable of throwing her off. He wasn't that tired, she assumed. If he had a problem with it, he'd no doubt voice it. It was her turn to become possessive with nobody else around. She more or less claimed him, with no witnesses to proclaim or cry protests. Her tune was teasing anyway. If she didn't win, that was fine. But she had won, and she was cheeky. In good humor though. No sour thoughts at all, despite their bout being awkward at first.

And this time, Tallulah reached down to bop her nose against his own.

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Nikolai got KO’d! *crowd cheering*

---

---

Granted, he was a bit tired but he’d been plum exhausted and still rolled when he had to. That was the thing. When he had to. With Tallulah this was fun, nothing but a way to stretch their muscles and wear down their unsettled energies—so when she shoved against him, he let her, his tail wagging the ideal way to deceive the serious expression he tried to wear until it broke. She’d pinned him, alright. Nikolai quite liked it. Quite liked her[/]. Reveled in the pressure of her above him, her eyes holding the burning hot daylight falling over the lip of the world. ”Ya’ look fine as ever,” he said, [i]fine being a word that felt almost understood solely by them, making it as special as ever and an utterly high praise. ”Go on an’ look at that, ya’ made the sun all jealous, can’t contend a second with ya’, darlin’.”

He had another round in him, no doubt, he could shove her off and let some burst lead him. Nikolai couldn’t convince himself to care about that, though, overly pleased to have her so close, unabashedly reacting to him and him lapping it up. When she leaned in to press her nose to his, he licked rather lovingly at the corner of her mouth, humming something of bliss. ”Just what I thought,” he said. ”Bein’ pinned by ya’ is delightful.. and ain’t a soul ‘round ‘ere with us.”

After a beat, he brought his mouth to her ear, licking at it once. ”An’ I’m all yer’s,” quieter than that, he almost timidly asked, as if concerned by some rejection she had plenty of times leading up to this to say. ”Ya’ all mine?”

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”An’ I’m all yer’s,”

The heat of battle faded, bringing on the heat from their closeness. She had the thought of yelping and getting off him, flustered by her bold actions. The thought flashed in her mind — you should be ashamed — and it was gone in an instant. Nick reached up to lick at her ears, bringing her back to reality. She merely stared down at him, not understanding where her actions had come from. She was usually more humble.

"Ya’ all mine?”

His tone was hushed now, quiet as if expecting her silence to be rejection. She snapped once more back to reality. It had been two layers of thought, really. Wordlessly, she lowered herself over him and draped her paws over his shoulder. Tallulah looked straight at him, leaning back just a bit back so their height didn't get in the way. She could be sarcastic. She could tease. But he looked so fearful at the moment. Like he was making a mistake.

"Course I am."

She didn't want him to regret anything. Or look at her like that, or even feel like that. It was still new to her, this whole thing, but... She knew she didn't want him to look anywhere else. At anyone else. It would hurt a lot if he did. She swallowed, so natural to anticipate hurt. So much easier to accept people hurt others in time; it was harder to accept that many did not. That they were truthful in their actions and ways. Like him.

Tallulah wanted to say a lot, but felt her words would just spew out instead of make sense. She lowered her head, placing on the side of his neck. Holding him there. His fur was a lot shorter than her own, she realized, but also soft. "Feels nice to be someone's." She admitted, rumbling against him. Almost like a content purr.

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It was utterly easy to fall into this idle step with her and it was made all the easier by how she, though wordlessly at first, accepted him; looking up at her, content with her above him in a way that for a moment he'd have said they were meant to slot together like this...

He'd never taken to religion, thought of Gods, never desired belief...but he could have sworn something divined this.

When Tallulah drew close, he embraced her, licking tenderly at the spot on her nape he'd come to settle his head. While it was clear they'd originated from different places, he couldn't help but learn her scent and think of home, burying his muzzle in her thicker fur; his breath on her as we speak, "Feels mighty nice havin' somebody." Nikolai practically rumbled it, some air of possessiveness to his tone. With them alone, he wasn't offering some odd testosterone-induced display; it was for her, some confession of devotion. He moved a little, hips shifting under her as he exhaled. "Yer' far more than I deserve, darlin'."

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Her eyes furrowed somewhat at his admission. As much as she wanted to lean back and ask why - why he felt he didn't deserve someone - she tried to resist the curiosity. Perhaps it was something Nick didn't want to talk about. Perhaps... She was also scared of the answer, of seeing him down. He'd always kept up a cheerful appearance. Hearing and seeing him crestfallen would hurt. So she tried to fill in the gaps herself, tried to make him see she felt the same about having him.

"Maybe it ain't that" she breathed against him "maybe we just deserve each other. Maybe it just took this long fer a reason" Tallulah began "comin' here, I always felt, I had no choice. I wanna believe now... It was to meet ya" No other men flickered across her mind, though. Nobody back home had been allowed this close "I, ah, didn't haf an'one back in me world" She confessed quietly now "I had Pa, and that was fine, but... I always wanted more." Deep down, she wanted to explore that soft side with someone else.

She huffed. "Nobody was good enough for me. Yer the first person... Well, yer words broke through me dense brain" She laughed quietly against his chest and neck "I dunno how. If ya were just persistent, or if it was meant ta be... But I'm glad yer here, Nick. Don't think ya ain't good enough for me. Ya are."

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Her silence confused him, brief turning considerable until she spoke, earning his attention effortlessly. Nikolai shared her sentiment, oh, did he. Everything about the ranch... that world, it removed room for desire, or the ability to act on it at the least; when he thought of having another to call his the prospect of it would be dampened by his work. It wasn't a regret, it was his duty but he couldn't deny the way his heart would ache. Sighing, he moved to press his forehead to hers, allowing his eyes to close. "I know I made it just ta' meet ya'," he whispered, voice smooth in that moment as it was deep. Perhaps he'd had his encounters with others, brief allure, but he'd never felt as he did with Tallulah. It wouldn't matter how physical they grew or didn't, if this was the extent of touch they shared he'd soak it up, enjoy it as it was... when he imagined the future it was with him at her side, that's all that mattered to him. "I used ta' imagine meetin' someone who'd stay—back home—yer' more than I coulda ever imagined."

Tallulah's head found his chest, he moved to gently lick over her ears, chuckling a little. "I'd hardly say yer brain's any kinda dense... Ya' just won't let any ol' dog pester ya'," this, of course, meant Nikolai's persistence (to him) was far more respectful than the laughable way he'd seen the others on the ranch trip over one another for someone of interest. "I'm glad I'm 'ere with ya', too, darlin'."

It was this which brought him to breathing in, exhaling. "If I could go back today... I wouldn't," he said. "There ain't no place I rather be than with ya'." Nikolai missed familiarity... missed who he used to be...

But he was beginning to like who he became with her.

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She grinned, turning into a content smile. No room for laughter, despite his comment about any old dog being funny to her. She recalled talk of this world being the afterlife. If she had died, if she truly was not able to go back, it was fine. Worth it. Even if she'd never see Pa again, he'd want his daughter to be happy in the end. He would smile upon seeing her so relaxed, a busybody with a stick up her arse.

"Well, m' glad of that" she rumbled against his thinner coat, her tongue snaking out to give his disheveled locks a quick groom "I don't think I'd go back without ya, Nick" she added truthfully, keeping the ideas of purgatory to herself. Maybe they weren't dead, but just brought her for a reason "even if I was given choice to go back." She really was not willing to leave all the others she had met, the friendships she had formed...

But if it was a big choice of leavin' Nick behind... 

She would not. She refused.

Ms. Valeska and Ms. Amaranth had each other, and their pups. Harper had her kids, born here. Would any of them leave, being from different worlds? What about the pups, would they be left behind? Cease to exist? True, Tallulah didn't have kids of her own but... The thought was sad. Poor little Dimitri and others. "Me home is here." She said with certainty, pushing doubt to the side. The two would just lay together, holdin'. A natural end, but also a natural beginning.

To Elysium next. And the future.

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