These are the nights that never die.

For @Ragnar. Keeping everything vague until the boar thread ends. 

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She was broken, her mind nothing but a silent void ever since her children were eaten right in front of her. Even the memory of it hurt though not as much as the nightmares. Even now, as she slept curled around @Callista she dreamt of that night, watching everything over again. The nightmares were a bit different each time, but one thing remained the same. She was a failure of a mother and couldn't protect her children. 

Her body shivered slightly as she shook, her breath coming in pants. This nightmare was worse than the others though, watching as everything went wrong that could have. She screamed out as she cried in her dream, not knowing that she had audibly screamed in real life. For now, she was still caught in the clutches of her dream filled mind.

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It was likely so that the rest of Serenity's days would not be easy for her. Not at all, with memories that would likely haunt her until the day she died. Even Sindri, who knew the woman barely, prayed to the gods that Serenity would either be blessed with forgetfulness of that she might die within battle, so that she may suffer no longer.

Ragnar knew that the pup she still had needed her and hoped Serenity might have the chance to continue on at least until the bane weaned. Whether Serenity wanted to end her own suffering, turned to vengeance and rage as Sindri, or whether Serenity would have the strength to push through it all, Ragnar would understand and accept any path she took after what had happened.

And now, he could hear her screams. Surely, he was not the only one in Northfall who could. Sticking half of himself into Serenity's resting place, he prods her side roughly, to shake her from her horrid dreams. “Serenity, wake up!” He shoves her hard to rouse her but pulls back quick, expectant of retaliation.
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The nightmares continued, flashing teeth and tusks across her visions. Her body shook and she panties, audible cries coming from her. But then, she felt something push against her, waking her from her dreams. At first" she thought she was still in the cave and lashed out, lunging forward slightly as she tried to attack him.

Thankfully he had already anticipated such an act and her teeth clicked together, hitting only air. Her growl would die down in her throat as she realized where she was and, more importantly, who she was snapping at. She gasped slight and pinned her eats back, looking away from him in guilt. "Oh I'm sorry Ragnar.... I didn't mean to snap at you.... Wait, I was being loud, wasn't I?" Guilt washed over her, hating that she was probably annoying the members. For a moment, she thought about leaving, looking down at her daughter as she thought that. Perhaps leaving her here would be the safest thing.

After a few moments, she would speak up, still watching the child though speaking to Ragnar. "I don't know what to do. I feel like I shouldn't be alone with her... I could lash out in my sleep and hurt her..." She wished she had someone to stay with her, and though she wanted to ask the man to help her, she knew that it wasn't her place to do so.

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Teeth snapped down onto air, her fury known, trying to protect those children long dead now. Not even a burial could be placed, not even but mere minutes of the pup's lives to remember them by. To Ragnar, though loosing a child hurt in any form, having a child eaten in front of them was far more then any soul could likely bare.

Ragnar nodded to her question about being loud, his ears flattening. He was silent a time, as she. After all, Ragnar knew there was no words, nothing, which might ease her suffering. But he would be there, regardless of the road Serenity ended up going down.

She then spoke up again, all the while looking to the one of five pups she had held for very few moments. She spoke of Callista's safety, that her own agression during these fits of terror could be displaced upon Callista. Ragnar frowned, sighing. Quiet still as he thinks and then,

“I could ask of Sindri to help. I know it's not the same circumstances, but she too is a mother whose lost her children... and her mate.” Sindri and Serenity did not know one another well by any means, however Ragnar trusted Sindri with his life. If Serenity had trust in him, she could have trust in Sindri.“ She has a great love for children and can keep her warm safe while you sleep.”

Of course this would mean the two women would be spending much time with one another but also meant Serenity would have more freedom to roam the lands while Sindri watched Callista. Maybe some time to herself and to get out and about of the dark quarters of the den would do the new mother well. More time could be placed in exploring with @Gaia if she so chose, too.

Ragnar would have not dreamed to have Serenity join him in his own den. It was not every day that he slept there and more often then not was out and about. Mostly, the sheer height in the mountains was not particularly safe for pups once they were beginning to test their footing.
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She felt terrible as he confirmed her suspicion that she was being loud again. Letting out a soft annoyed growl at herself, she would sigh, tired eyes turning to look at him as he spoke. For a moment, she stayed quiet, thinking for a moment. She didn't know Sindri very well, but she trusted Ragnar so she figured she could trust the other woman too. After a few moments, she would speak up, her voice soft. "I would like to move my den as far away from everyone else as possible...." She still didn't know Northfall well enough to know where that would be. "Will you help me pick out a den, I would rather rouse the wildlife rather than my own pack." She knew that if she did move to the edge of the pack, she would be less protected, but at this point, she really didn't care. If a bear came and ate her, than maybe she would be saved from all of this guilt. 

"Also, I think I would like to meet Sindri.." She seemed hesitant in that, but she figured it couldn't be any worse than what she was going through right now.

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Ragnar lays then at the opening of the den, one forleg crossing over the other and his back legs out so that his belly lay flush to the earth. “I will see to it that she comes to visit, then.” Golden ears turned back, a 'hrmmm' on his inky lips.

“I can help you find another den, if this is your want. Therr are plenty of places in the forest or even along the coast...” His sentence trails off, pale eyes looking to her in the shadows of the den. “Though I don't think pushing yourself and your pups from the rest of the pack will be best. You've suffered a great loss and we are here to help you through it.”

It had been hard for Serenity to place her trust within Northfall and for some time in the beginning she thought herself an outsider. She probably had been, given the pack she had come from, much as Aarkron had been. But time had given her the faith she needed within the pack, a faith that hopefully would pull her through this, too.

Life in these new lands had not at all been kind to her. @Vendrussel had wanted Serenity's pups disposed of- She had gotten her wish.
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The woman merely offered a smile of thank you and a nod, not really having anything to say. Though, as he spoke about her pushing herself away from the pack, she would sigh slightly before shrugging. "I know that my nightmares can be loud, the last thing I want is to cause the pack no sleep...." She pause for a moment as if she was having an internal argument with herself. Finally she would sigh and nod, turning to look up at him. "You might be right. I'll stay here for now, but if I end up causing too much troubles, promise me that you'll let me know?" If he did come to her to let her know that, she would likely leave entirely, but of course she wasn't going to tell him that. 

Instead, she would sigh and lower her head to the ground, physically and mentally exhausted. Brown eyes would turn to look at him, waiting to see what he planned to do next.

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Mind if we go ahead and wrap this up?

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Ragnar nods with an agreement, though there is a hidden lie in there the same as Serenity. She would leave this place if she knew she was causing it much trouble and Ragnar himself had no intention of telling her if it were true. Her hardship might jolt those awake who rest near, but Northfall's mountains were vast and if they were bothered they could find rest elsewhere for the night until time and kindness made what had happened a horrible, distant memory.

“I can stay with you for the night, if you'd like?” Though with his offer, Ragnar does not allow much room for Serenity to intergect. He comes to her, slipping into a space at her side and yet with the little pup in between. Ragnar had a hope that maybe, with his protective presence next to her newborn, she might find better rest.
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