I ain't just trying to write a love song

For @M’Jakuna! apologies for the short starter!!

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She'd wandered from the Isle once more, venturing to the cliffs that overlooked the ocean. A slight drizzle gently dropped against the ground, and Aika did her best to get a good view – while remaining under the treetops, of course. She shivered as the cold tore at her fur, and Aika had to bite her tongue to stop her teeth from chattering. With a hum, she laid herself down, watching the sunrise as the waves collided against one another. Truly a beautiful site, and completely unaware to who may be nearby…

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This was farther than he was used to, passing along and then through the wide mountains that divided the lake and the nearest neighbors, but the deer were becoming riled near the lake and they would need to hunt something large soon—it mattered even more now, not just for Ozai's growing frame but for Meresankh and the pups. Their pups.

Oh, it was still such an odd thing to think. Pups. Pups of his. It had once been such an alien thought that he would have children and now the thought always lingered with him; it only made sense, really, in a new world they were making their own... to introduce new life was only anticipated. For all his luck, Meresankh took to the duty of Vionst with ease, thinking similarly to him when it came to things like the difference of love and duty and simple desire; it meant things between them hadn't changed, each knowing their role and place in one another's life.

And while he sought to treat her as usual, he understood pregnancy would wane on a wolf's body and he sought to do his best in securing what she needed. It was only for his luck his path with Aika was one that crossed again, expected, he thought, now that her family's pack had settled.

"Aika!" he called out to her, his tail wagging as he approached. "Out early, mhm?" M'Jakuna shook his fur a little once he neared, lowering his head to brush against hers in greeting. "What brings you out so far?"

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And someone that she hadn't come to expect, of course, was M'Jakuna, but here he was. Right here, right now. "Aika!" Her ears immediately pointed upwards, and she turned her head to see him trotting towards her, tail wagging as he went. Aika smiled, 'purring' as he rubbed his head along her own, she stood, going back on her haunches in a seated position. “Hey, you,” She smiled softly. "What brings you out so far?" “I could say the same for you!” She chuckled. “Mostly sightseeing, to be honest, but I am quite the wanderer. I thought the ocean looked pretty.”

--And if she'd known MJ was going to be here, she probably would've come earlier, but of course, she'd never confess such a thing out loud. Her own tail began to sway as she spoke. “What about you, my dear? You're far from home.” A soft laugh emitted her maw, squinting her eyes as she attempted to lean his head against his tall shoulder. Weird, when she was supposed to be the tall one for most.

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As she pushed herself into a sit, he settled down beside her, looking down at her with a quirked brow. M’Jakuna’s eyes didn’t lift from her as he nodded. ”Pretty indeed,” he said, a bit of a smile twitching the corners of his mouth when my dear slipped past her lips. ”I’m scouting the deer herds that pass through. With everything going on with Meresankh, large kills need to be a little more frequent.”

It was after a beat that he gently nudged her with his forearm, tail thumping against the earth. ”You’re always a delightful detour, too.” he said. ”How have things been with your pack? Settling in going well?”

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Everything going on with Meresankh? Her memory flicked back to the woman she'd met a while ago, before MJ. The woman that spoke of wise words beyond her years. A frown creased her face. M'Jakuna moved on rather quickly, before she had the time to ask anything. ”You’re always a delightful detour, too.” She looked away, lashes fluttering as she blinked – flustered. ”How have things been with your pack? Settling in going well?” “The Dynasty is good,” She smiled, looking out upon the ocean, towards the island where her pack had settled down. Ah, she wondered how they were. Aika liked to think that she'd been getting better at swimming.

“We live on that island, over there. There's a part in the sand where it rises, making it easier to wade across,” Why was she telling him this? Well, she had no clue, but maybe it was because she'd like for him to visit from time to time… or at least, to try to, as long as @Hikari and @Izumi didn't skin him immediately. “I've been getting better at swimming because of it. Nighttime there is really lovely, too! The waves glow in the darkness. I'd… love to show you sometime, if you'd be interested. Or, well, if my sister would allow you, anyway.” She chuckled, looking back towards MJ. Her eyes remained screwed on his paws as she contemplated. She hoped that her sisters wouldn't… say anything.

Quickly, the lady cleared her throat. “Um, you said something's going on with Meresankh? Is she okay?” Aika fretted, brows creasing once more. She hoped that the woman was okay.

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M’Jakuna followed her gaze, humming his amusement at the wistful way she spoke of the land she called home now. Some relief settled within him under the knowledge she wasn’t so far away—warmth, in a way. ”It sounds half a world away,” he mentioned, fantastical was how this land was woven and he’d be lying if his interest hadn’t been piqued. ”If she allowed it… I think I’d rather like to see—perhaps we could swim together, mhm? You can show me what you know.”

When Aika’s words shifted to Meresankh, there wasn't a moment he hesitated telling her for he hadn’t a reason to hide it at all. M’Jakuna did know, however, this was a practice many saw as archaic and he sought to ensure she understood. ”Within the Juh’harah, so many wolves take to their duties with such fervor that taking a mate isn’t priority… and none should be more dedicated than the leader, even fewer leaders have taken a mate, my own mother didn’t.” he said to her, lifting a paw to shape his emphasis on the subject. ”…But children are desired nonetheless and so we have Vionsts that offer their help in conception—it’s solely a matter of duty in order to realize the goal of children; Meresankh offered herself for the practice… and she’s fallen pregnant which means it’s my duty not only as her leader but the sire of the pups to ensure anything that is needed is had… which means deer, deer, deer…” he shook his head—oh he was already tired and this would undoubtedly be the easiest part of it all.

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He'd like to visit her? Really? He offered for them to swim together, bringing her heart rising up into her chest… before it all came crashing down. "Within the Juh’harah, so many wolves take to their duties with such fervor that taking a mate isn’t priority…" Take a mate? What? No, no… she didn't like where this was going. She'd be… happy, for him, if it was him telling her that he was unique in his pack – that he'd taken Meresankh as a mate, but her heart already stung. Aika swallowed, and nodded. Continue. It's not like it could hurt any more, right?

But, oh, never could she be more wrong.

"…But children are desired nonetheless and so we have Vionsts that offer their help in conception—it’s solely a matter of duty in order to realize the goal of children; Meresankh offered herself for the practice… and she’s fallen pregnant which means it’s my duty not only as her leader but the sire of the pups to ensure anything that is needed is had…"

Like glass, it all shattered; her heart fell into a million pieces. Meresankh had… fallen pregnant, and her dearest MJ was their father. Aika's eyes went blank as she tried to figure this all out. He'd said that it was 'solely a matter of duty', but how was she supposed to believe that? Tears threatened to well, and yet, she remained still. Quiet. She would not cry in front of him.

But she spoke.

“Congratulations,” She smiled.
“I'm sure they'll be adorable.”

She loved children, afterall.

She loved MJ. Loved. What a funny word.

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When it came to familiarity, M’Jakuna had known Aika as long as he had been in this new world, and while there was plenty he had yet to know about her… he knew her well enough to see that something was wrong. What it was he couldn’t discern for the life of him.

”As long as they’re healthy, I couldn’t find myself caring about anything else,” he said, well used to the ways of the wolves in his family that struggled with not only falling pregnant but sustaining the pregnancy, and his worries that Meresankh was afflicted similarly by some test of fates didn’t fail to be quelled by the constant reassurance that she was progressing well. M’Jakuna had to shift his focus, though, swallowing as he tilted his head and leaned in to look her over. ”Are you okay, darling? You’re… quiet.” It never hit him why she would be upset.

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”As long as they’re healthy, I couldn’t find myself caring about anything else,” Aika nodded in agreement, gaze almost clouded over as she slowly came back to reality. solely a matter of duty, solely a matter of duty, solely a matter of duty. She took a quiet breath, nodding again, and rolled her shoulders back, sitting tall. She'd almost folded over while thinking. MJ looked at her, and Aika couldn't decide whether or not to meet his eyes. ”Are you okay, darling? You’re… quiet.” Darling. She took a breath. She could either tell him that she was upset and explain why… or say that she was alright, and not risk having to confess just yet. She knew which one she'd pick. “I'm alright,” Aika hummed, trying to force a small smile upon her face. “A little tired… I got up early to watch the sunrise.”

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M’Jakuna nodded, it wasn’t in his nature to push another, especially one he considered so close… but the shift in her demeanor was so sudden that he couldn’t help it. ”Mhm,” he said. ”You know… you can tell me anything, yeah? If something’s eating at you, I want to know.” Of course, M’Jakuna’s thoughts flitted to Aika’s pack rather than anything else.

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”Mhm,” He hummed, almost unbelieving. Aika's ears threatened to wilt to the back of her head, but she wouldn't allow them. No, not yet… until he spoke again, and the woman felt like she might just break down. She… wasn't good at holding things in. Like a dam that'd been overflowed. ”You know… you can tell me anything, yeah? If something’s eating at you, I want to know.” MJ was so kind, so sweet, she didn't want to lose it. But… she'd risk it anyway. “I…” She began. It felt like coughing up thorns. It was… more difficult than she'd expected it to be. Her nostrils flared, tear ducts about to start up until she just… took a breath.

“I worry I sound selfish when I say this…” Aika spoke, trying to cough up the words to her best efforts. “I don't want you to be upset with me…” Because what if he was? What if he left, after she revealed how she felt? What if it was a burden placed on his shoulders? She took another breath. Keep pushing. Keep moving forwards. This was a make-or-break, she thought. “I… I really like you, MJ.” She hurried. “For some reason… Knowing that you mated with someone… hurts. And I know that you say it's a matter of duty, but…” she shook her head.

Aika didn't know. She didn't know. “It's just not what I'm used to, I guess.” They weren't even anything to one another. Not anything special, anyway. MJ was just someone that Aika felt a strong pull to – they were nothing official. She felt terrible. Aika realised how silly she sounded. “It doesn't matter, anyway. I'm just… being silly.”

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The apprehension he felt faded away seamlessly once she spoke,  it made sense then—this sudden shift of emotion, reaction, he shook his head, flicked his ear. ”No, I understand… most think it’s peculiar,” he said to her, shifting a little. ”You’re not being silly.” M’Jakuna cared for her immensely, he did, and perhaps that was why it didn’t cross his mind how she would be hurt. He cared for her in such a way another couldn’t coexist alongside her. Of course.

M’Jakuna moved to press his nose to her cheek, licking at it once before receding to look at her. ”I like you too, I do,” he said. ”I didn’t intend to hurt you, that’s the last thing I’ve ever wanted… but I promise, there isn’t a thing between Meresankh and I—not like there is with us, how I feel for you is utterly unmatched.”

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What he said next, though, surprised her. ”No, I understand… most think it’s peculiar, you’re not being silly.” Aika nodded, eyes gleaming as tears – almost, almost – began to well. She held her breath, bit her tongue, and dipped her head. She hated being seen like; absolutely despised it.
MJ planted a kiss on her cheek. She could almost melt underneath his perfectly charming touch. ”I like you too, I do,” But… in the same way? Did he not understand? That was what worried her most. That he'd misunderstand her words and downplay the fierce emotions she held for him.

”I didn’t intend to hurt you, that’s the last thing I’ve ever wanted… but I promise, there isn’t a thing between Meresankh and I—not like there is with us, how I feel for you is utterly unmatched.” Aika blinked.
“With us?” She croaked, her tone an almost whisper. Maybe… maybe he did feel the same way. He wanted him to tell her, first, before she moved too quickly.

Before she ruined it all.

Before everything came tumbling down.

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It seemed all too obvious to him, really, for his affections were quiet... but nonetheless earnest. If what transpired between him and Meresankh was anything but acting upon a calling of their roles within the pack, he wouldn't have so much as dared it; while he couldn't so precisely describe how he felt for Aika, he knew (in perhaps what was a stronger foundation than simple desire) that he deeply wanted to learn her, to know her. Just as he had each meeting since their paths crossed, he would choose her.

Again and again. So long as she allowed him.

"Us," he nodded. "Aika, I care for you in a way that extends far past duty... I look at you and I want to do what I can to ensure you stay in my life in whatever way you desire." M'Jakuna would be bold, though, presumptuous maybe but he had never found a reason to hide his thoughts. "Though I'd be lying if I said that I didn't hope you'd one day have me as yours."

He flicked an ear, sitting remorseful though he didn't shy away; Aika didn't deserve that nor did she feel the need to soothe his concerns. He was a big boy, after all.

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Aika wasn't… experienced, when it came to these sort of topics, aside from a fleeting interest many moons ago. She certainly didn't know how to talk about how she felt without being ridden with anxiety, though as the sire spoke, she felt like any worries her restless mind could harbour were slowly washed away. "Aika, I care for you in a way that extends far past duty... I look at you and I want to do what I can to ensure you stay in my life in whatever way you desire." Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as she looked up at him – her eyes shone in a quizzical way as she struggled to find the right words. Really? She thought. You want… me?

Her jaw parted, then drew back closed as she tried to find the right words; to try and express how much she truly cared for M'Jakuna, and how much she wanted to be able to keep him by her side and show him how much she loved his company and just… him in general. “I would like that,” She smiled airly. Nothing dramatised, nor over the top. Sometimes the simplest things worked best. Aika nodded. “I want to show you how much I care, and how much I long for your presence and trust… if you'll allow me.”

She wanted to be his respite, to let him find comfort in her presence and to help him whenever he may need. And she, in turn, wanted to be able to feel… safe with him. To finally learn that… not everyone was out to get her. Aika blinked away, cheeks warmed as she tried not to stare. What if she was moving too fast? What if she was doing it all wrong? She took a breath. “You might have to bear with me, though,” She laughed. “I… am not very good at this…” Maybe he could help.

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It was utterly… relieving to know they were on the same page. There was nothing loud or overwhelming to it—just a simple confession that was reciprocated; M’Jakuna let out a breath, eyes slipping  to her. He wasn’t a man of excessive confidence but he couldn’t deny the blossom of pride he felt at the knowledge she desired him in a way he desired her. ”I’d quite like that,” he said, tail thumping against the earth in a constant wag.

”It’ll be nothing but a pleasure figuring it out with you,” he said, not so cocky to think his experience before now would equal equal anything worthwhile with Aika—she was a whole new wolf to learn and he’d revel in each second he was allowed to know her. ”Courting is rather common within the Juh’harah… and while I’d never want to push a practice of mine onto you, I think it’d be an honor to still be seen as yours while we explore… us.” Again and again he set all of himself out—certain that whatever he said would either be reciprocated or he’d adjust his expectations. He was sure plenty of packs didn’t prioritize exclusivity, after all. Who was he to suddenly opt for it?

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”It’ll be nothing but a pleasure figuring it out with you,” Aika couldn't help but continued to smile. Oh how his words wormed their way into her head and stuck with her. This was nice, this felt… good. It was certainly something that'd take time to get used to, but each moment would be a warmly welcome one, she thought. ”Courting is rather common within the Juh’harah… and while I’d never want to push a practice of mine onto you, I think it’d be an honor to still be seen as yours while we explore… us.” “I'd love to. You don't need to fret about 'pushing your practices onto me', I'd like to learn about you and your culture.” Leaning to her side once more, she watched in contentment as the sun continued to rise, already peaking above the bluffs as the sky lightened to a nice, rose pink.

A new dawn, just for the two of them.

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