I Hephaestion

@Tiberius

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"Tiberius...",  the cat exclaimed somewhat confidently.  It was really a façade, he had been dreading this talk for awhile now, but at some point it had to come. Kuhn, usually preferred not to put things into words, raw emotions with good judgement tended to work better for him.  Though, this situation was eating at everyone involved.  It called for words now.  

They had told everyone that it was just a kiss, and there had been more than some passion there.  Fitting with the cat's habit of not trying to explain his emotions, he only knew that he had a great care for the man.  Even so, it came a surprise that the two men had taken their affections that far.

"I think we should talk.", the cat continued, coming closer to the man's side.  Apprehensive with his distance, the tiger skirted the edge of the dark ruler's aura; as if he was trying not to tempt their previous passions.    Kuhn didn't know where they stood or what the Titian had told @Olive. Trying to hold his mind at ease, the striped predator couldn't hold back the memory of the man against his hide.
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When Olive had told him of @Kuhn's decision to officially align himself with Duskguard, Tiberius had been floored. Kuhn had been given the allowance to come and go, an ally without any strings for how could he not give his best friend any allowances to his home? It would have left a sour taste in his mouth, so Duskguard had been offered as a home away from home whenever the sun cat would venture from Northfall.

He knew his decision would take adjustment. Yet the titan couldn't help but hope that Kuhn knew that there were not very high standards for him as a feline within a wolf world. Hell, Duskguard wasn't just a Pack. It was a group, a family who housed different species even before Kuhn bore its name. They were trying to understand still each others species whilst doing the same thing: caring, being loyal and maintaining their own boundaries.

Boundaries.

He grimaced, those has gone to shit, hadn't they? He hadn't seen his feline since that day and it had taken everything within him to not seek him out once he had learned of his decision to remain in the Vale. Selfishly, he was happy. Happy that he would have his best mate calling the Vale his home, even if he ventured. Yet he hadn't sought him out. He told himself it was because he was adamant to do as he said to Valmua, to not encourage anything -- yet...

He knew his damaged heart only hurt further at missing the man.

The titan grew ramrod straight when he heard it, the familiar voice. Molten gaze looked over to him, landing upon the sight of his tiger. Tiberius' ears went back, cupping his skull and causing him to look every bit like a guilty puppy. It was a little surprising that Kuhn was the one who sought to talk first, the feline often willing to do anything to not delve into emotions. Tiberius didn't know whether this was a good or bad thing.

He noted his hesitance and he almost whined, disliking not having his usual greeting. He nodded, "Kuhn," the titan rasped, looking as he were holding himself back from closing the bit of distance between them. "Aye, I suppose we do," he relented, swallowing as he wondered how this might go. He didn't want Kuhn to leave, to fuck off for good -- no, no that was the last thing he wanted. "I uh -- hm, yer start, maybe," Tiberius rumbled, scuffing the floor with his paw. ^^

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The big cat's aura of conversational confidence cracked instantly upon seeing the dark man's expression. Not being able to control it, the cat mirrored the same look pinning his ears back and averting his gaze from the man's nervous molten eyes.

It was a strange thing to see the chieftain show softness like this; typically the man was a bulwark of strength and dependability. But, in this situation, he was just as lost as the tiger of the north. Hanging his tail low it flicked in nervousness, admiring another layer of the scarred ebony man.

Tiberius was really going to make him do it. Didn't he get it, it already took a lot to walk over and start this conversation. "I uh..." , stammered the cat.

If this had been some sort of external threat, the two men would have no issue ripping it to shreds side by side. But this? This was hard.

"You... know I care about you right?", he added with great strain. It wasn't something he would say to just anyone, but the solitary, carefree cat let the titian have those words freely. "I really don't want to come between you and... this.", continuing with a motion of his head, gesturing to the landscape of the veil; Olive, his children, and his pack.
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Tiberius could see the way Kuhn did the same as he, growing uncertain and not knowing where to begin or what to say. He swallowed, throat feeling dry despite moments before having been just fine. Nerves, he thought -- fucking nerves. Place him in a battle and he would be fine. He would know what to do. Kuhn too, it would come to them as easy as breathing.

Facing emotions?

Well, shit. That was hard. Neither having much experience with them that might be positive, though the world they were in now seemed more than eager to give them as much experience as possible with it.

At those words, the question, Tiberius' brows furrowed. He... he did know that. Kuhn had shown him time and time again that he cared. He nodded slowly, "I... I care about yer too." Because he did and he wouldn't deny that, couldn't deny that. The vow he had made to swallow his confusing feelings and stay away was becoming weaker, especially once Kuhn spoke again. "Ain't want yer ta come between nothin'," the titan grumbled, "I want... I want yer ta be part of it," Olive had told him that perhaps they could explore it together, that she didn't wish to be an outsider. She wouldn't be, he would tell her of this conversation, no matter the out come, for that was the best he could do.

"In... in any way possible," Tiberius thought of Valeska then, her words and her genuine desire to offer him some clarity. She had said a triangle but there was a point missing. A point of fiery nature with the emotional range similar to that of the two beasts who stood there. Olive... Olive was the most advanced of them all, a sorry thing to say for she was the one dealing with the aftermath!

The titan supposed the only way to understand it, for either of them, was to talk. The way Kuhn had initiated but perhaps he wouldn't expect what Tiberius would say next. "Yer love Valmua an' she loves yer, too. Do yer love me, Kuhn?" The Chieftain tried to lift his head with some confidence but his molten gaze was wide, earnest, and his ears still flat. "I didn't think I could love, before I met Olive. Certainly didn't think I could git a best mate, either," he rambled, "didn't realise how deep it could go fer yer, either." Fuck, fuck. Fuck, what was he saying? Tiberius wished he knew if Kuhn and Valmua had spoken since and what came of their conversation. Had they spoken of him? Of Olive? Of... of what any of it meant?

"I don't wan' git between yer an' Valmua. I just... I caint shut off wha' yer do an'... if tha's fucked an' nothin' like wha' yer feel then fine. Tha Vale is yer 'ome, Duskguard yer family if yer wan' it. Valmua's too." He would rather him remain and swallow his emotions than have them full force and Kuhn leave. He would suffer the consequences so long as he didn't lose him.

Dear whatever God, don't let me lose him.

Please?

^^

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Feeling like an outsider wasn't something that normally bothered the cat.  He supposed it was in his nature to walk alone, but suddenly he had found himself in this pack with a family.  But, really ever since the uttered the words that made his family official, it somehow now bothered him that he felt like he was on the outside.  Feeling like he would never truly be forgiven for upsetting the family, he would forever be marred by his competition to Olive or his guilt in taking the Titian away from from his true responsibility.  

Biting the inside of his lip, he could feel a lump forming in his throat.  His best friend was standing there assuring him that his fears where unfounded.  Tiberius really wanted the cat to feel truly at home.  Barely audible the big cat released a low whine,  he couldn't speak now or he would choke.   If it weren't for the cat's already spinning emotions, Kuhn would have certainly reacted to the statement 'In... any way possible'.  But, he couldn't afford to make any assumptions in the moment, so the idea joined the torrent of thoughts spinning in his mind.  

"Yes - I love you.", the cat returned, choking on his words without hesitation.  How could he deny that, they had been through so much together, they had shown it time and time again.  He figured that he must have looked pathetic, a great tiger choking up over something like his, tear matted, sniffling like a cub. 

When, the man's wide and molten gaze found its way into the suncat's senses, it was the last straw.  That border that he had drawn between them was quickly broken.  Taking a step in, the tiger would without another thought, forcefully pull the man into an embrace, bringing him into his chest, as if he would never let go. 

Trying to press the bridge of his nose into the man's ebony coat, he pressed his eyes closed.  He heard everything the man said.
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It was likely that all Kuhn desired to do was shelf this conversation because it was so raw and really, to a degree, so did Tiberius -- but they both knew it needed to happen. So that they could return back to comfort in each other as opposed to dancing around in uncertain waters. The titan supposed it was a loaded question to have asked, an unfair one because neither had really been... out right with what their declarations meant yet Kuhn didn't shy away from his question. He answered it, emotion clogging in his throat though he said it with conviction.

He blinked, surprised but it warmed his spine and his belly, making his heart beat quickly within his chest. Tiberius wouldn't fight against the embrace, allowing Kuhn to drag him in and the titan buried his face into the plush fur of his neck, feeling Kuhn's own nose bury into his charcoal fur. He felt the way the emotion welled in his own depths, a leg coming to tuck around Kuhn wherever he could to keep himself anchored.

Tiberius knew that the feline cared for him. They had remained loyal to their friendship against all odds and really, they made each other a better creature and allowed each other to learn from each other. Yet to hear him say it without a single drop of hesitation -- it strengthened them. Their bond. He desired to ask in what way because... because sometimes Tiberius (thinking back on his conversation with @Valeska) couldn't help but wonder if it was a love that was more than what one felt for a friend. He sniffled slightly, breathing the man in as he felt their heart beats against their skin.

Now that his head was buried, hidden away against the other titan, he supposed he might be able to be a little bit more... bold. "Did yer... did yer like -- like wha' uhh... wha' 'appened, wit' us?" he asked in a rumble, slightly muffled by the way he shied away within Kuhn's fur. It was... it was confusing, okay, and really, they needed to know. Needed it out in the open because he wasn't about to lose Kuhn over this, wasn't about to lose his first friend, his best-mate. He couldn't -- like he said to Olive, the tiger was part of him, too. A place in his damaged, jagged heart.

Tiberius grew silent then, breath baited and nerves lining his veins with a heat that bubbled, confusion and curiosity settling within his spine. Tiberius wished he had the grace that Olive did, to discuss this -- wished he wasn't so emotionally stunted that this could be easier. Yet he wasn't, he was him and that... needed to be enough. ^^

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There was no resistance from the dark man's body as the cat pulled him in. It was a fast motion, not unlike the way that the striped beast might grab its prey. Though at the bottom there was a close embrace, and once more he could feel the warmth of his friends pelt soak into his own.

As Kuhn buried his snout in the man's scent, the cat could feel his heart slow. Comforted by that ever so familiar aura, he began to slowly pet at the mans fur with the end of his nose. As the wolf anchored himself to the tiger, Kuhn's paw tightened its own hold, each pad of his paw pressing through the dark man's fur and into the surface of his muscled back.

"Of course I liked it...", he exhaled into the side of the Titian's neck, with a voice that was much more steady now. Couldn't he tell? Purring and rumbling, claws drawn, belly up: wasn't it obvious?

"It's just that... Now things seem so complicated...", continued the cat with a pained expression, leaning his head into the man.

"Did you... Like it?"
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He shouldn't have known. Should have been able to read it, even now, yet Tiberius' struggle with his own image and acceptance was enough to make him second guess whether the tiger had truly been enjoying what had happened. He struggled with the idea of anyone desiring him in any form, even after siring children and being told upon as a bear and god, he felt as if he were not worthy of either Olive or Kuhn. He had always felt unworthy, even now when he stood at the helm of Duskguard, as a father, a mate, a lover, a friend, a protector, a mentor -- all these things had yet to feel as if he were worthy to be them.

To carry the honour.

Tiberius wouldn't relent, remaining buried within the tigers fur and nose touching down against warm flesh. His mangled ears splayed at the words, his heart stirring painfully -- complicated was the right word. They had been selfish in the moment, even if they hadn't understood what was happening or what it meant, both having women that they loved and desired to feverently yet they were pulled together still.

The returned question had Tiberius' skin flush with a warmth as he recalled it, the memory fresh even now and he nodded against Kuhn's body. "Aye," he rumbled, clutching at Kuhn as if he were a lifeline and once more being transported into a sense of security as the tigers strong arms remained encompassed around his body. "I... No one 'as touched m'so nicely aside from Olive," Tiberius revealed quietly, embarrassed but he was powering through. "Ain't uh... ain't wanted anyone ta touch me aside from Olive," he swallowed, happy his face was buried away.

"Apart from yer," the titan allowed, wondering if the ground might open up and swallow him goddamn whole. "I... I think I's uh... someone told m'tha' maybe m'eart is bigger than most an' tha'... maybe it contains more love than most," he recanted the words or near enough from Valeska, brow furrowed. "Did yer... where would it 'ave gone if... if we 'ad stopped, Kuhn?" Tiberius felt stupid for asking it but he needed to know, he needed to understand Kuhn's side.

Kuhn's heart. His emotions. He needed to know his own, too, and to be able to talk to Olive about them.

Tiberius swallowed. ^^

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