up with the sun

ooc; set before duskguard visit, @Valeska
 

She stifled a yawn, coming out from her den. Tallulah blinked the bleary sleep from her eyes and tried to focus on what needed to be done. Of course, Duskguard was going to be visited. Then the Trial of Vendrussel. It seemed like she was leaving too much behind undone. Nick was not coming, strategically remaining behind in case things went south and fast. She recalled with a smirk that he almost beat her that once in a spar...

The Respite would be in good paws with him, Harper, and the others. Turning her body, she was surprised to see Ms. Valeska coming directly toward her. She dipped her head politely, more of a quick nod. Tallulah knew she didn't like formalities and rank respect. "Mornin', Valeska" she said "ya need me fer an'thing?" With such purpose, she assumed it was something. Though it could be long overdue... Gossip. About Nick and herself.

She mentally prepared herself.

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Something in Tallulah's eyes told her she knew.

She suspected.

All the better. It would be easier this way. Valeska closed the gap between them with fluid ease, sitting down before the woman with a pleased look before exchanging her own nod of acknowledgement. She felt a little tired today, with so much on her plate needing done before her numerous expeditions into the north, but she always had time for an informative chat between chores.

She grinned.

“Good morning,” she returned, stifling a yawn. “No, no, I think most everything is ready now - just tidying up loose ends today. However...”

The silver wolf cleared her throat and seemed to scoot imperceptibly closer.

“You have not told me how you have acquired your Nikolai, and I wish to hear the tale.”

A not-so-closeted romantic, Valeska took visible joy in stories of love and fiery passion, and while this would come as no surprise to anyone else in Elysium - Tallulah, perhaps, might be a little shocked at her directness.

Nonetheless, her eyes sparkled.

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She laughed.

Perhaps not the right response, but she had anticipated the talk for a while now. Valeska had been so busy, it would seem, that she hadn't made time to do it until this moment. Acquired was the word the pale wolf used too, which made it even more amusing to Tallulah. Roaring with laughter though... It was a bit much. 

Instead, she had puffed her cheeks and snorted. Then came the laugh. It died into little snickers, her head shaking. "Izzat what ya think?" she resisted laughing again "I, ah, acquired Nick?" It was sorta the other way around. The piebald gestured to the border in the near distance "we met a few paces 'way from there, actually."

Her laughter died down, replaced with an embarrassed smirk. "I explained t' border to him. He was close, too close... Thought he was trespassin' or plannin' to. But he just didn't understand it" She shrugged "we just talked after that. He was, erm, direct. I questioned that" Tallulah hummed thoughtfully "but he didn't let up. Not disgustin' mind ya, but charmin'..." 

She would have run him off if he suggest innuendo. 

"Then I ran into him in Temperate. We hunted together, and erm. I admitted I liked him. He repeated he liked me back" she lifts a paw to her cheek, awkwardly rubbing it "I suggested he come to Elysium, if we gonna move forward. We just courtin' right now. Err, dating. Think that's the term fer it here." She wasn't sure yet.

She turns to look at Ms. Valeska. "I thought som'thing was wrong wit' me. Been gettin' me memories back. I never had an'one pay me attention like Nick does. I never really was focused on an'one either. Thought..." She shuffled "I was doomed to be alone. Even if it don't work out with Nick long term... m' happy. And I wanna believe it'll work out. Izzat wrong?"

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Tallulah's recount of their meeting was charming - the best connections were often made through sheer serendipity, recalling her own first encounter with Amaranth in the bone-pit shrouded by mist. At the time it didn't feel as important as it had been, finding herself more concerned with hauling the malnourished waif out from her own clouded haze than she was at pursuing any deeper meaning at the time, but in hindsight, it was a moment bathed in rays of light.

She smiled warmly, twitching her ears back.

“Why,” she began, gently accusing, “Would you ever think there is something wrong with you?”

The thought alone was absurd - completely baseless. Tallulah was one of the kindest, most honest and hard-working individuals she had met in her travels, between both this world and the one before; it seemed cruel how fate often chose to cast shadows of doubt over the very best of one's kind.

“You are strong and capable and genuine - there is not a single thing amiss about your person, and any wolf would be lucky to have you in their lives.”

The silver wolf bumped her shoulder affectionately against her friend's, grinning playfully as she did. “No one is doomed to be alone. Anyway, why do you think it shouldn't work out?” she asked, raising a brow. “Nikolai is of much the same mind as you - he is real, and he is good. Why would it be wrong for the both of you to 'work'?”

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She smiled thinly, almost forlornly as she looked to Valeska. Didn't she say once upon a time, her memories were fuzzy and comin' back? "I don't know how to be a lady" She admitted quietly, ducking her head to stare at the ground "three years o' me life, I was raised by a man who lost his wife. Ma was not 'round to teach me bout relationships, and I always mimicked t' men on the ranch." And thus? The thought of being wrong stewed in her mind. Like she was supposed to submit.

To a gender stereotype.

"Almost every man back in me world wanted a pretty southern belle. I never was one. Once a man approached and got t' know me, he backpedaled. Too much like a guy, too much a friend... No one saw me as a potential partner, Valeska" She shook her head "and m' scared I'll mess it up with Nick" She added in a whisper "I know he's different than those guys. He accepts me fer who I am and what I am. But I've never been in a relationship."

Wasn't it common to have some anxiety? "What if I fuck ever'thing up?" What if she lost the one good thing that made her feel like she was worthy?

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It was unlike Tallulah to appear so downcast, and the visual tugged at her heartstrings in sympathy. Valeska had never been particularly feminine either - loud, blunt, gregarious, and overly physical in her interactions - but the rest of her former pack had always been like that, too. They were vibrant and rarely contained, a cluster of tight-knit, free-spirited wolves leaping up and down the mountain spraying snow about each other like so many glittering crystals.

She knew plenty of creatures worthy of the title of 'lady', of course. Valeska thought them admirable; Olive came to mind first and foremost, all delicate curves and so softspoken in her gentle way of gliding about the world. She reminded her of a cool stream, carving a path through rock not with force but through gradual, calm insistence.

Once, Valeska wished to be that way.

It was like wearing the ill-fitting skin of another.

“If Nikolai wanted a lady,” she began sternly, resting a paw upon Tallulah's well-muscled shoulder, “I do not think he would have come all this way back to Elysium with you, nor would he have become a pack-wolf. He does not seem one to make such decisions lightly.”

The High Priestess paused.

“I, also, was raised with less than feminine manners, but it has not hindered me at all in the pursuit of love,” she continued slowly, looking up toward the sky. “I wished to be ladylike once - but it was not me.”

Valeska returned her gaze to her friend.

“Would you really, truly be happy, if you were any different?”

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"Nick is great, aye" There was no doubt about him in her mind. Tallulah felt the problem was herself. She smiled fleetingly, fond of the man already. "I'm sayin'... I guess I'm scared I'll make a mistake" she explained to Ms. Valeska "he knows what he wants. I know what I want, too. But I've never been in this situation before. Izzit wrong to be scared?"

She glanced at the pale woman as she admitted she was less than a lady too. A sort of strained giggle came from the piebald wolf "Yer more lady-like than ya know" she smirked "ya have this regal and benevolent air bout ya, Valeska" And regal behavior was the mark of a lady, wasn't it? "Ms. Amaranth is... mysterious and formal all at once. Ye both compliment each other well." It was true.

But.

"How did ya know? Ms. Amaranth was the one?" She wanted advice, but she also didn't want to pry too deeply in.

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It felt so strange, acting as something of a mentor to a woman who already felt far beyond her years, as practical-minded and driven as she was. From the moment they met, Valeska had felt like Tallulah had everything figured out - no-nonsense and ready to get her paws dirty, she possessed a firm moral compass and a compassionate heart with arms held wide open. Seeing her so wound up over a nice gentleman like Nikolai was a gentle reminder that even the strongest among them often hid away their secret fears, whether it was for loss, for failure, for pain, or even something as simple as death itself.

“If a mistake is to happen, it will happen,” she said matter-of-factly, glancing up toward the morning sun. As autumn crept ever onward, stretching its frigid hands across the northern mountains, the warm rays felt weak against her fur as a brisk wind cut through them momentarily. She breathed in deeply, savoring it. “I am certain that everyone alive makes mistakes, and I am also certain that the only thing that might truly drive Nick away from you would be an intentional act of cruelty - not a mere slip of the tongue, or an accidental wound during play. He is his own character, with his own strength.”

Valeska shot the woman a sidelong glance at the sound of her giggling, realizing too late that she was, in fact, having a chuckle over her. She looked almost offended that anyone would call her ladylike, the thought having never crossed her mind before; of course, the High Priestess had fantasized about it. Dreamed of it. She was very determined in her belief as a child that someday Prince Charming would come to swoop her up within his hairy clawed arms and whisk her away, tittering and preening and simpering, and that she would miraculously become slender and shapely and beautiful overnight.

Fate had other plans.

“Well, if only one wolf alive believes it, I suppose it should be you,” she returned glibly, indulging in their shared laughter. Valeska felt a connection to Tallulah much like she had with Urszula; whether it was simply female bonding or something deeper, it was hard to say, but something about the shape of their souls just made sense.

“Thank you - it is appreciated, even if I do not always understand it myself,” she finished, eyes sparkling.

They enjoyed a brief pause together, looking out toward the lake, somehow both worlds apart and yet cut from the same cloth.

"How did ya know? Ms. Amaranth was the one?"

The question came as a surprise to Valeska, and it took her several seconds to formulate an answer that wasn't just a bunch of wishy-washy hooey. Tallulah wasn't one to settle for an answer like feelings and knowing - she was a practical woman, and she deserved a real response, especially if this was something she sought for herself.

“I knew because...”

There were so many reasons.

How her eyes were mirrorless depths of amethyst and starless skies, dark and secret and ever-watchful; how her embrace managed to feel both icy cold and hot to the touch, frozen-formless yet burning with the impassioned heat of a raging wildfire; how she spoke so little, yet every word cut like lightning, splitting apart Valeska's every thought like wood splinters in a storm.

“We have spent so much time together, that we have often run out of things to say,” she ventured quietly, closing her eyes. “Not because we have said them all, but because we already know. Some will tell you to seek passion, but it burns away and leaves only ashes behind. I knew it was her because every moment spent in her company felt like coming home.”

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She smiled, her weakness slowly disappearing. That Valeska spoke for Nick's character, when she didn't know him much at all, was a good sign. The problem Tallulah felt was with herself, and it'd be some time before she felt confident in the affairs of her own heart. "We are our worst critics." She recited her Pa's words back to the pale alpha, clear as day for once. No real accent - albeit still slight - to speak with until she spoke once more.

"Home."

Tallulah repeated Valeska's words, a sort of wonder on her tongue. Upon a time, she would have given up back home. Hell, she already had. If she was being honest, she got in the way of herself. It wasn't Pa's fault. He probably wanted little pups running around, but Tallulah had high standards when it came to a partner. Subconsciously, she sabotaged herself. To think that Valeska and Amaranth had found each other here, not in their original worlds... It was like she said to Nick.

She had been brought here to meet these wolves, especially him.

"I wanna believe I can make a home here" She admitted to Valeska "my ranch is gone... I know that. It ain't healthy or good to want t' same thing. To seek t' same thing. A little change is fer everyone's best interests" She sighed wistfully "though I admit I'm a bit... tense, wit' the trial comin' up." Would Elysium be forced to change with Vendrussel's fate?

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“We are our own worst critics.”

Hearing Tallulah speak sans accent, with nearly every trace of her rough-and-tumble origins erased from the speech uttered by her lips took Valeska aback. Briefly, she wondered what she herself might sound like without her own heavy Russian undertones, but it seemed doubtful that she would ever be so skillful or patient enough to try. For her, it was enough that she could be understood at all; in fact, she was quite proud of her progress in the Common tongue over the years.

Harper, on the other hand, might never find consistency. She was much too proud to commit to foreign languages as her pale sister.

The High Priestess smiled at her spoken desire to create a home for herself here, and fought the natural urge to touch the woman reassuringly once more. Tallulah was not a child, and she needed no coddling from either her or anyone else - but that did not mean she needed to face the world alone.

“You have a home here,” Valeska reaffirmed, looking off toward the dens. “For as long as you shall want it. Of course, as you say, it will not be the same as the home you once possessed. We do not have any extra 'hats', and I believe you own the only 'bandanna' I have ever come across, and we do not have the 'live-stock'... but we do have the freedom to make whatever you wish of things.”

She wondered what it had looked like - Tallulah's former life. Going off her appearance and peculiar assortment of accessories, she could only imagine the most fantastical scenarios, with strange-colored animals and funny-looking wolves all dressed in various ritual garb much like herself. She assumed the 'hat' aided the woman in performing her former duties, possibly serving as a spiritual resonance vessel that might better direct the 'live-stock' to their 'pens', as she had once described - she couldn't see any other use for it, anyway.

“My first home was in the high mountains, now many worlds away. It was cold and beautiful and isolated, but it was where I grew up,” she offered, glossing over the details Tallulah had already heard. “My second and most recent was actually in a temple of stone ruins, some former place of worship, I assume, deep within bark-bleached woods. It was temperate and warm and a little uncomfortable, but I remember how lovely the trees were when the sun filtered in through the canopy overhead. Amaranth and Harper and I created Elysium there.”

It seemed like a lifetime ago - several lifetimes ago. Realistically, it was.

Valeska had loved their little swath of land, humid as it was. It had been just the five of them - the other two consisting of rambunctious Buckeye and little Gwyn, who had tragically and mysteriously disappeared since their arrival into this world - but they had been as thick as thieves, as one might put it, and she would never have traded them for anything.

“Home is not simply a location; it is a state of mind, I think,” she finished with a grin, motioning to the landscape around them. Fate's Respite was vastly different from Elysium's initial place formation, being much chillier and holding a vast open space they had not previously enjoyed, and Valeska would have been lying if she said she didn't prefer their current setup. Her fur was much too thick for the hot woods, anyway, and she liked being able to venture into the mountains at her leisure.

“"... Though I admit I'm a bit... tense, wit' the trial comin' up."”

The silver wolf's face fell for just a moment, then returned to a look of rigid determination. It didn't speak well to the general temperature of the pack if even Tallulah felt her nerves beginning to fray at the impending Council meeting, and she knew it was her duty as Priestess and shepherd of her flock to soothe them of their worries.

“Elysium is not a pack created for war,” she said sternly. “We fight only if we must. Although we are allied with Northfall, this trial is to ensure a fair outcome to all, and if they choose to break their word and go against the decision of the collective, then that is a different affair. Duskguard are our friends as well, and they are not eager for this to break out into bloodshed either.”

She paused, exhaling briefly, feeling the heavy weight of responsibility press upon her shoulders.

“I do worry for Vendrussel. She is a kind wolf, from what I have known, but to think that she killed a child - it is a difficult matter. You need not come if you do not wish to, you know - it was only an offering, and I would not blame you if you wish to stay behind.”

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She smirked playfully. "Sounds like ya almost want a hat and bandana yerself, Valeska." The woman's curiosity when they had met aside, she sounded wistful about the items to this day. Tallulah, however, agreed with the woman's words. It just touched her a bit deeper now, seeing that Valeska counted her among her paradise. No, she was touched by the vocal certainty. It was no longer a sentiment. It wasn't a state of mind. Valeska truly believed Tallulah belonged here with them.

She nodded again at the alpha's Elysium ideals. "I worry more if they force change fer their selfishness, maybe not here but elsewhere" she admitted "alliances can be broken. Even if ya decide on a fair outcome, not everyone gonna be happy with it" She shook her head "it could turn Northfall against others, if they chose to take it personally. That they aren't on their side." She was speaking hard facts, hard truths. Valeska already was aware of them, no doubt. The woman was like a wise arctic owl.

Valeska was painfully aware that Northfall may retaliate, despite the council's decision.

"I know ye and Amaranth are too loyal t' let Elysium be changed by cruelty. I don't want this paradise, this Elysium, t' be tainted by others. I don't want an'one else to suffer either... Even if folks already suffered by death and war." The life of a child... The death of a daughter of an alpha. She kept to herself how odd this was, to call a trial over one death. She knew war affected many, not one. It seemed almost selfish of Northfall to become agitated over one death, daughter of a leader or not.

Maybe they underestimated Dragonford. Maybe they were desperate. Maybe they wanted to turn this into a witch hunt. They wanted to display openly what should be a private affair. Tallulah, who didn't like dirty laundry aired, felt uncomfortable about the whole thing. Northfall definitely wanted the people firmly on their side. "This is me home" she reaffirmed to Valeska "even if I feel... whatever bout the trial, I cannae run away. I gotta do my part to protect our home." Bad things happened.

She would just rather they not.

"I'm coming wit' ya. I'll make sure we all get to see Elysium again."

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Well, she was close.

“Actually, I think it is more accurate to say that my mate wishes for them,” she laughed, recalling @Amaranth's hungry, lustful eyes every time they would languish and linger upon the sacred objects in question. Her base nature was that of a true collector, her own den packed full to the brim with strange trinkets and various odds and ends that she had acquired during her time in this world; yet the advent of the hat was devastating.

Amaranth had not spoken of it directly - but Valeska knew.

A fire burned behind those amethyst eyes every time she caught a glimpse of the treasured head adornment.

“My beloved would never steal, but I would keep an eye out for Sreda. She tends to acquire things that are not hers; perhaps Amaranth's hoarding streak turned dark,” she added, looking sheepish. Much as she tried to curb their errant habits and less-than-desirable quirks, every day they grew older and more willful, and every day she slipped further and further away from the ability to corral them back in line.

But she supposed that was what growing up was all about.

Tallulah ventured her fears of Northfall's retaliation should the Council decide an unfavorable outcome - to which Valeska scoffed, waving a paw dismissively. She meant it nicely, of course, and would never seriously discard the woman's fears so abruptly, giving her a quick smile to show her intent.

“The words happy and Northfall do not necessarily go together; they will no doubt be dissatisfied with any outcome that does not result in death outright, but we shall do our best to satisfy both justice and personal desires,” she replied serenely, though a firm edge laced the tone of her voice. “If they choose to overturn the Council's decision and react with violence, then we will return home as quickly as we can. We will not abandon Olive and her kin should they face peril, however - although I feel they are quite well-protected with Kuhn in attendance.”

Valeska yawned, feeling uncharacteristically sleepy in the early hours; she was typically what one would describe as a 'morning person' and often woke with a joyful start to her day, but she had been restless these past few nights. So much had happened across the last six months that she still felt like she was trying to catch her breath.

“This is me home, even if I feel... whatever bout the trial, I cannae run away. I gotta do my part to protect our home.”

The silver wolf closed the distance between them and moved to press her head against Tallulah's, holding the position for several moments as she closed her eyes gratefully.

“We do not deserve you,” she said, pulling away. “And we will make it home. You must still pursue what you have with Nikolai, and enjoy the beginnings of what may turn out to be a truly wonderful life together. Should you need any advice, I am always a willing ear - but do not let your fears take away the joy that you feel now. You are worthy of love.”

Valeska smacked her lips, then, and looked toward the food cache they kept.

“Come. Let us have breakfast, and you may tell me your favorite feature about Nikolai, and I will rank it on a scale from one-to-ten.”

... It was a joke.

A joke.

She grinned.

Mostly.
 

{Exit Valeska}

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