Long past dawn

She had never expected him to understand; she never expected anyone to. She held wishes that were foreign ideas, trades simply granted as a result of living. Here she was fantasizing about scars while his own haunted him, but she didn't have it in her to take the words back. He might've misunderstood them, denied her his approval of them, or he might have even been hurt by them. She'd kept her desires behind a thin-lipped smile for years, aching to begin a life as a survivor instead of a victim. It didn't matter what he thought. Kaida hoped that was the case, hoped she wouldn't let herself be dragged under by the charming grin of a male only for him to banish her dreams in place of his own.

He'd never do such a thing. It was a brief thought, a thread fraying at the edges of her mind. But was she sure of it? Did she truly know this man enough to make that bold of a judgment? Her gaze lifted to his, almost weary but comfortable all the same. She didn't know him, not enough...yet. His adamance was tentative but it was there. In the way he peered at her through curious eyes or the way he spoke—careful coos like she was a bird one precarious step from taking flight, or even with the way his body naturally inclined towards her, preying on something even she didn't know was being given away. Would that be enough to convince her this was a reality? Or was she simply delving into details and hoping for all the wrong things? Anything to make him seem as good as he let himself portray.

She didn't know, nor was there much time for her to sit and think about it. Not when even her thoughts were interrupted by large droplets of rain dampening her fur. Kaida's grin seemed to grow marginally, eyes closing and head lifting as the coolness enveloped her otherwise heated frame. It was a welcome sensation, but Beck's words seemed to draw her out of a momentary haze.

“Cute.” She would've retorted with a low laugh before rising to her paws, both in awe and unfazed by the rapid way in which her fur was being soaked. “You are already feverish, what with your hallucinations, so we'll get you out of the rain before the rest of the environment causes irreparable damage.” Kaida remarked, head thrown over her shoulder as she awaited the other's company at her side.

She didn't know where she would go, or if there was even anything remotely similar to canopies that would shield them from the onslaught of a brewing storm. If she were alone, she would've let herself sleep amidst the water, relish in the beat of it against her back, and let it lull her to sleep. But now, now she had company to think about, someone else's well-being despite how capable she already knew him to be. She wouldn't leave him alone, much less in the rain. His sorrow lurking behind heterochromatic eyes was already too great, deep pools she had yet to even dip a toe in.

Was this what his persistence felt like? The adamance to get to know another? Learn their secrets, their habits, and make an impression worth remembering. It was addictive, a nosiness never satiated.

the staff team luvs u

It was true, he didn’t understand. Even if explained, a part of him probably never would. It was her secret to hold, for now. He would remain content not to peel back the curtain and take a peek at the hidden truths that lay cradled on the other side. Those were hers to offer, and when she was ready he would embrace them like a mother would a babe. If only for the compassion of his nature, the empathy that throbbed within him, a nagging wound that reminded him how his heart so easily bled for others. How it bled for her.

His lips curved and a chuckle rose from his chest, rumbling like the thunder that crashed above. His head turned skyward again, eyes closing against the water. He was soaked through. The fur along his face clung to him like a second skin, droplets trickling from his jaw and nose. However, amusement swam within his eyes. Despite the weather, his eyes shined like the sun as he peered at her beneath slicked down fur. A wolf that would not be cowed by a mere storm.

“You’ve left me exposed, ma petite fleur.” His smile sparked, a fuse set alight with mirth as he stood. “It might be another hallucination, I think it… weakens me.” The timbre of his voice hitched, his accent growing upon each word. Another small rumble of laughter hummed as he followed her to her feet. Rising to his paws with a shake of his head, he ridded himself of some of the water that had collected upon his dark coat.

Almost cautiously, he moved toward her hip. His mind leapt and he imagined pressing his nose into the soft fur of her flank. Nuzzling her just the slightest with the side of his muzzle, guiding her through the onslaught of rain. Imagined it, but he refrained. He didn't need to push his luck with her. She had already drawn her line in the sand and he was well aware of which side of it he had resided on. It was a line he would obey, perhaps painfully, though the temptations would remain. She was a beautiful woman, and he was a man. It was as simple as that.

Instead he lingered there at her hip, his head tilting only a degree toward her. “Prends soin de moi, ma chérie. Je ne vais pas bien. — Take care of me, my sweet. I am unwell.” French words reverberated softly in the echo of the oncoming downpour, and he found himself not caring about the rain. He barely paid it any mind at all as they moved. He was a modest distance away, striding with her through the precipitation as the clouds opened up upon their backs. Although the downpour had been an unexpected assault, she didn’t appear bothered by the rain in the slightest. His gaze followed the droplets that clambered down against her, gliding down as they traveled over her moistened skin and rimming with curiosity.

It was a strange sensation. It was the feeling that came from the realization of a dream, a fantasy, a vision that had once been a faraway thing. The two of them walking together. To where he did not know, could not know, not with the dense fog still blanketing the darkened terrain, but he didn’t care. He’d follow blindly at her side, idly wondering where it was she had intended to go.

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

Her eyes had lingered on the man with as much intrigue as she held for the nature around her, serene with beauty hidden beneath its depths. The closer they neared, the longer he stayed, she’d begun to realize the shards of light he hid behind that boyish grin and the mirth that lifted its corners. It was an effort she recognized, blackened curtains drawn to ward off those peering in, but also to keep those last tendrils of light inside—safe. A small hope to keep their soul alive while a world inside tarnished. It was a harmful beauty, but one that drew her to him all the same. For maybe he’d draw back those curtains if she did, gradually and on their own time. Maybe the consequences would leave them lighter, facing their pain head on and together instead of walking the path alone.

The thoughts kept her gaze on him, eyes completely enveloped by the sight of his pelt despite being utterly drenched with a dullness unlike him. She figured her own mirrored the same, but she felt lighter against the heaviness of the water weighing her down. She always had when it rained, even more when the skies turned dark and the rumble of thunder sounded overhead. It was freeing, as if the rain alone would wash away her sins, relinquish the hold her past held to her—binding her to a life damned.

She was drawn, an unbreakable spell cast that rendered her utterly incapable of seeking out anything else. And for a moment, it had been enough. She could live a life filled with his mirth, with his jests and the laughs that followed, let his sweet coos lull her to a sleep fit for a queen. Perhaps. In that moment it wasn’t about past lovers or the past itself, but instead an unmistakable marker for the present, a glimpse into a future she could have given she let herself desire it.

Words. And then they faded, leaving a gruff bark of a laugh in their wake. It drew a tender smile and the words that left her not a moment later. “Who knew someone who appeared so strong would fall victim to the caress of a warm wind?” Her back straightened as he met her hip, his warmth immediately wrapping around her while the storm’s wind allowed her a lover’s caress across the back of her neck. The combination of the two was enough to illicit a shudder from the dame, despite however pleased she may have been, her smile never waned nor grew. It was content as she was, simply honed on every movement or word spoken from the man at her side.

“Again, you stare.” She remarked with a quietness that rivaled the storm around them, her steps unhurried but moving all the same despite her effort of conversation. She was sure she was a sight, hair plastered against the curve of her skull, warping with sunken cheeks. Equivalent to a rat, she would’ve guessed, but he stared so intently, so enraptured. Why?

Kaida wanted to know, to learn. She wanted to see inside his thoughts; despite her line drawn, she wanted him inside hers. Hushed breaths, rumbled laughter, sweet croons—she wanted him to see what she imagined. A lit imagination that rivaled the dread it became at night. But it wouldn’t matter if her mind and body saw it fit to keep him at arms length, she knew a man to only tolerate it so far, so much. The thought saddened her, rippled a still iridescent pond that resembled their precarious fits of interaction. But still, she didn’t let her smile falter, not in front of him, not when he could tell and shied away at every downward tilt in her lips.

No, she wanted to keep her pond still for as long as possible, reminisce about his smiles come the time they’d have to depart later. To do that, she needed to keep them intact and full. Hiding her pain was simply a small price to pay, one she’d gotten so used to over the years. She’d pay it for him, and to grant herself that small piece of selfishness.

So when the rain turned dull and instead was a mere patter against rock, she let herself turn back to him, grin ever wide at the sight. It was a small cavern, but big enough for the two to fit with his larger size. Small, dark stalactites brimmed the ceiling, but in such disguise she wouldn’t have noticed if she wasn’t so observant. He stood at the mouth of it, drenched still and probably would be for the next few hours and a soft laugh left her. And then she was shaking, ridding loose water from her pelt despite how close he may or may not have been in those few moments her gaze had left him.

the staff team luvs u

There was a possibility she had been a bird in her past life. Surely she was something with wings that touched over everything with delicate elegance, even now he could image them folded neatly across her back. She had danced through the meadow, the grove quickly becoming her own violet stage. The moon had been lost to the blackness on the other hand. Unseen behind the clouds, yet still barely capable of providing a silver glow to the landscape. He could faintly smell the blossoms through the downpour. The rain made it difficult to catch the full scent, yet it was different now. A subtle shift.

A shudder rolled down her back, rattling her spine all the way through to the tip of her tail. Amused, a single brow cocked upward, his single sapphire gem side eyeing her from his position. “She said as she shivers.” His voice was low and ripe with mirth, teasing her as she did him. Only but a gentle coo in the static hush of rain. They would fall into step like old friends, children who had met on a playground, their echoes of laughter filling fond memories of one another. Their relationship felt much older than only the night. He didn’t question why. A long time ago he had learned that it was better to simply accept things as they were, forgoing the answers that taunted him behind their locked doors. Curiosity still beckoned, but some things he was happy to be content with the mystery of the unknown.

Though her next words had his tongue stilled, his mind humming. He hadn’t exactly been entirely secretive about the small looks he threw to her, the glances as his eyes swept her body. Even now, he was committing her to memory. The sweet sultry tones of her pelt, the way her steps fell ever so softly, gentle upon the lush ground as she moved with unending grace. Like a bird in flight, a dove, she had soared slowly through the fog with the clouds caressing her back. The cat was out of the bag. She’d noticed, noticed enough to say it out loud so that those whispered words may waltz with the raindrops. She’d turn to him then, his steps halting altogether as the thoughts in his mind had come to a tumbling halt. Upon her face, a smile shined so brilliant the stars might have wept with jealousy.

Somehow through the obscurity of the fog and the storm, the blackness of the night that would have had him crashing into every tree, rock, and shrub, she had found a place to shelter. It was a small earthen cavern, just big enough perhaps for the two of them without much additional area to spare. He followed her in, watching as her body melded with the shadows of their new dwelling as he took his place beside her. His thoughts returned to her earlier statement, the parting words she had offered just before finding what they had been searching for. Beck’s eyes darkened, a shadow slipping over them as they dilated. He moved, angling his muzzle against her ear and hovering near to the gentle slope of her head. Again his tone lowered, his voice a husky whisper that held more intensity than he had intended it to. “Do you want me to stop?”

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

It'd been tempting. To fall beneath his beautiful stare and relinquish what she knew he desired from her. Not her body or the caress of her warmth, but her self—her soul. He wanted to delve into a woman and learn what made her tick, what cryptic past she held, and how to mend her. In the short amount of time, she knew that. From the clench of his jaw to the tentative steps he took towards her, she knew. But he was respectful and cared for her boundaries in a way no one had ever done before. It was only one of the many things that kept her around, kept her biting the carrot he dangled in front of her; what made her begin dangling her own.

There were no words she could find that could describe how she felt. Perhaps it was home, or perhaps it was merely the idea of being safe. Both were foreign feelings to her, distant memories forgotten from the earliest parts of her youth. Regardless of what it truly was, his presence alone kindled something inside her chest that had long diminished, snuffed out by men and women alike. It burned with a passion that petrified her, made her breath quicken, and her hackles rise with every heated breath it'd heave against the walls of her chest. Time slowed with him, but it burned so brightly she feared someone would notice and snatch it away from her again. Snatch him.

She began to realize why she cared so much, why she'd begun to hold him in such high regard even after their moments were few and strained. It wasn't worth mentioning yet. Finally, Kaida drew her gaze from him, eyes half-lidded while her grin shifted with the cast of rain. Her tongue teased the dips in her cheeks, tasting for a response as she strode ahead. She'd decided then that she'd give him something to grasp, something to hope for when it came to her. A carrot. Her smile grew at the thought and then her lips were moving on their own accord, forming words that left her throat with a softness rivaling their intent to tease. “You speak so confidently for someone who does not know whether it was the wind or your mere presence that elicited a shiver.” A flick of her tail and she was moving before he could register the words that had fallen from her tongue, bubbles of laughter mingling with the steady sound of rain.

But then they were in the cave and she was facing him again, facing the consequences of her words as they rolled off her body like the rain dropping onto the floor. Hardly washed away but accumulating in a puddle beneath her drenched feet, preening and greedily awaiting his attention.

And before she could blink, before she could recollect herself after shedding some of the wet weight from her pelt, he was there. Like a mother's warm breath, he was against her, so close and with a smell she would've found herself drunk on if he didn't move. Her breath had hitched, held within the confines of her chest as his nose crested over her ear, a guide as his words left him. And for once, for once among his close presence, she found herself smiling and wanting to return the jest—the tease. Her ears flicked against his muzzle and her head unintentionally inclined so her own warm breaths puffed against the column of his throat. Then the words left her, so soft and so effortless she'd hardly noticed they'd left her lips.

“Believe me, Beck, if I had wanted you to stop, my words would've been far more different. I merely wonder why.” Her body remained where she stood, so close and still so incapable of moving anywhere else. She feared a simple move aside would break the moment, shatter it to pieces that neither one could bear to string together again. So she remained, her fear there but faded to a dull voice in the back of her mind, the shroud of his scent casting a wall between it and the rest of her thoughts. “Tell me why, Beck, why you stare at me as if I'm everything right in such a cruel world.” The words were soft—tentative—as if she feared her assumption had been completely wrong in its sense. But still, she let the words caress the tendrils of his fur, let her breath move them until all had stilled again and the patter of rain was a distant melody.

the staff team luvs u

He hadn’t expected her words to be anything other than what they were. Teasing. Just as they were prior, the insinuation that it was he who coaxed a shiver from her body drawing a playful smile to the front of his lips. However his eyes did not glint with mirth, nor did his chest rumble with that of laughter. Not this time. Instead all was quiet, an unmistakable tension hanging denser in the air than even that of the fog. It was an electrical current that grew heavier by the moment, one that could not be blamed on the storm.

His muzzle lingered, cresting the shape of her ear and down the slope of her head. Those words and her breath brushed his senses in a way that he could not ignore— In a way that enveloped him in the very essence of her and left him wanting more. Warm swells of her breath had stilled him, rooting him to the very spot where he stood. The thickness of her scent made his body shiver in anticipation and had his tongue brushing across his lower lip in an absent fashion. Something had indeed changed. What that was, he couldn’t say for sure.

Beck watched her, studied her, his eyes moving against her as her gaze dropped and she shifted. His nostrils flared slightly, drinking her in as his own breaths began to deepen. Those inhales were a slow, steady movement; a sign of his restraint. A restraint that was suddenly feeling feeble, as though it could turn to dust and be taken by the wind at any second. He continued to observe her carefully, absorbing every bit of her expression, the rise and fall of her chest, and the feel of her warm breath as it stroked his throat. Beck didn't move. Even as his muscles quivered in response to her warmth, to the feel of her breath as it fanned down his chest, tangling in his fur, and the sound of her voice as it came again, he remained.

In a moment of his own uncertainty, the man found himself questioning his actions. Was he reading her correctly? Was this what she wanted? Was this what he wanted? He was not a creature that needed a reason for things. He did not require reasons for things, or for people. His decisions were made on impulse, feelings. He did not question his motives or the intentions he had for her, even if he himself could not decipher what those intentions might be at the present moment.

Cogs set into motion, his mind ruminated. Thoughts circled again and again as he tried to piece together the words he was going to use, ones that would explain his reasons and would make sense to them both. His gaze flickered over her face, down her form and back to her eyes again. She hadn't backed away from him. In fact, she hadn't even tried. That had made him bold. It provided all the confidence he needed to do as he did next. His head lowered, angling so his own warm exhales would fall along her cheek. The scent of her moist fur filled his senses as he inched closer to her, their bodes nearly touching. Nearly, and still so far away they would remain. He was silent, not answering her inquiry. Not yet. Instead his muzzle dipped lower, ghosting atop her fur, his nose and whiskers grazing over her skin if only by a fraction. He inhaled again, a slow, steady, drawn out motion. His voice came as a low rumble that reverberated within the deep hollow of his chest. “I'm not entirely sure,” He admitted, the sound laced with unknown emotions that burned hot in his veins. “I'm not certain what it is I feel, or why it is that I am feeling it,”

His tail twitched, the very tip flicking back and forth in a manner similar to that of a cat's. He was testing her. Testing her and her resolve. His eyes were heavy, his entire frame tense, as he moved his muzzle lower still. It had taken only a moment for his nose to tuck just behind her jaw and beneath her ear, his breath falling heated and steady against the crook of her neck. There her scent was stronger, a heady thing that had his head spinning and his blood pulsing hot beneath his skin. “but I want to know you, Kaida.”

the staff team luvs u

Kaida held her breath, tendrils of her fur whisping across the underside of her chin as a cool breeze channeled through the mouth of the cave, mingling with the heat of their closeness. The woman’s mind was blank, utterly devoid of any thought aside from him. He who was so gentle and so kind, benevolent in every aspect he’d shown her. The moment his scent intertwined with hers, she’d been irrevocably changed, morphed into someone greedy for that attention and it frightened her.

She couldn’t go back to a life where it was simply another’s attention that had her living for a day more, couldn’t belong to someone as their prize or a possession. She didn’t want to be teased, she didn’t want to tease and then leave him high and dry. But she’d tried, oh how the dark woman had tried to be something he was able to play with, to find enjoyment in. For a moment, she couldn’t deny that she enjoyed it too but it was fleeting and too much of a reminder.

So she let herself lean into his slow perusal, head tilting in time with the drag of his breath but then she was gone. Taking a few steps back, she found breath again, swallowed the fear that crept up her throat when his breath caressed her neck and instead offered him a smile. “You are positive? There is no going back once you know me, Beck, you are either my friend, or a foe I never acknowledge again.” A whip of her tail over her back urged her breath out again, head ducking slightly as her gaze turned up to him. “ If you get to know me and then choose a life where I am a mere stone on your path, you will assume the same fate in mine. Forever.” A gentle warning, cooed to him among the whispers of the cave. She never did appreciate her time being wasted, perhaps that was a trait she’d earned from her home, from them. It wouldn’t surprise her.

Her brows furrowed slightly as she descended upon the cold press of the cavern’s floor, dampened from the onslaught of rain still dripping from her pelt. She looked at him with a certain plead lying mute on her lips, hopeful for his answer but accepting if he chose the out she’d offered him. Getting to know her was no feeble thing, and she was more damage than she was worth, but perhaps if he said yes. If he chose to watch her grow, blossom alongside him and with his help, perhaps her damage wouldn’t be as suffocating as it felt. Perhaps, by some stroke of luck, she could learn to love without the claws of guilt and terror fisting handfuls of her fur and dragging her back. Not a physical love, but her love.

It may be a sparing love, one not many would prefer, but molded by the most passionate parts of her—the ones hurt most. For that love, that love didn’t need physical touch or to lie with another, instead it was filled with smiles more intimate than a lover’s touch, thoughts shared without hindrance. That was her love. And for a moment, peering at a man who’d walked through a downpour with her, she’d considered showing it to him. Showing him how love truly was meant to be, what it could be. And maybe, if she chose to lay her cards flat atop the table, she’d finally find peace.

the staff team luvs u

Before he could release the breath he had been holding, before the rain drops landing on him could run from his head down to splatter upon the ground, she was gone. Flowing through hands that attempted to hold her as nothing more than soft clouds of vaporous fog, she took a step back, then another, the closeness quickly dissipating on the next breath he drew. He had traveled to far upon his frozen pond. Careful shuffling steps upon the glassy surface edged him, tempted by the sweet promises where the ice was thinnest. He heard the sharp crack as she reeled away, felt the ground shift beneath his paws, though it didn’t break. Not yet. Tentatively he would navigate back to an area of safety, a place where he knew the ice was thick, a place where he would root himself in and forfeit exploration of the outer edges. He’d take a step back, mirroring her movements, peering down at her with nothing but friendly inquisition. All the tension had evaporated from the air, flung aside, as it was the heat that endangered his precarious icy footing.

He watched her tail arch upon her back, watched as she smiled while tipping her words with a sharp blade, and finally as she bowed to the floor of the cavern. Upon her features there was an emotion he hadn’t understood, a fleeting glimpse at something that touched her eyes only briefly. Want. It wasn’t a lustful desire, or even a desire for him to remain close, to continue his gentle perusal. No, this was a pleading desire, a yearning that urged him to say the right answer, the one she had wished to hear. However he didn’t require persuasion.

Echoing in his mind, her words rung like a chorus as he sank down to the floor with her. He had been careful to put as much distance between their two bodies as was physically possible in the tight confines of the cavern. That was where the ice remained thick, unyielding, unquestioned. Beck’s ears flicked forward, his tail softly batting back and forth, trying to appear as receptive as possible. She was like prey, and earning her trust meant first convincing her beyond the shadow of a doubt that he wouldn’t devour her the second she turned her back. Swallowing the lump in his throat he spoke quietly, evenly as he uttered the words with an unshakable doubt. “I’d like to be you’re friend, Kaida.”

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

It was as if every expectation and every doubt slid from her shoulders, baring them to the fresh air as opposed to the dreary weight they'd held within his presence. In truth, she'd already begun to put him through so much, a constant game of tug-of-war pulling him to and fro while she meandered on a single side, hands gripped tight. But yet, he'd managed to shoulder it, push through the first barriers of a woman's mind, and bring himself closer. The very fact that she'd allowed him at all eluded her, a thought as thin as the fog they'd trekked away from.

Something of him still confused her. No male had ever expressed such adamance when it came to her, not for anything beyond breeding. The thought only hardened the ever-furrowing brow upon the woman's face, her expression of distaste peeking through a mask of mirth. Everything within her was calling out, pleading with her mind not to sort this male with the rest. Hands beat against the walls of a trapped mind, a victim of a hard past that was incapable of ever moving forward. It clung to the bits and pieces that were good, the pieces of reasoning that reassured her that her life wasn't that bad, that it could've been worse.

But her life now, the one she'd been reborn into, the past never could compare. This world was beautiful and full of color, brimming with kindness and compassion even amongst the tendrils of green and blooms of purple. They coddled her like a weaned pup, soaking and warming her fur like a mother's caress. It was a dream and for a moment, so was he. A fever dream, if any, one left to the weak and sick on the precipice of death when dreams came like warm swallows of liquor. He was just that, a beautiful honeyed whiskey, but even something as sweet as he wasn't enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

She was sure, though, given the more time they spent together, he could succeed. They both could. Her nightmares would wash away with his soft admittances, those ever-growing smiles he cast her way, and the sparing moments spent where their breath met—if they ever truly got one again. She was sure because the moment his words left ebony lips, she couldn't help the smile that split her maw. She couldn't contain it, couldn't mask it with indifference even if she tried; even if she wanted to, she wouldn't. Kaida wanted him to see what his agreement—his promise—meant to her, how much it thawed the cold chains locked around her heart.

Some of her walls shed as she looked to him, her shoulders relaxing with the slump of her body as she sprawled across the floor. “May I ask you a question, Beck?” Kaida would ask with hope left in that green gaze, head tilted to the side despite the little time she waited to ask the question outright. “How did you get your scars?”

the staff team luvs u

The smile upon his lips was soft, the thin bodies just beginning to part with words accepting of any questions she had to ask — until her mouth moved first and the honeyed words she spoke floated from her tongue, rapturing away his confidence in a single blink.

His pupils contracted, his face freezing, his body stilling as his heart statued in his chest. The warmth that wafted between them in the small cavern was replaced with cold. A biting chill that ran up his claws, his toes, his legs and consumed him like the hungry beast it was. It ravaged him, sinking into every muscle, every fiber of his being as it erased every thought and last musing he had down to one primitive and very animalistic feeling. Before he knew it, her image had faded away, her scent, her warmth. It was all replaced with the cold unforgiving void, a void that would cage him yet allow him to fall all the same. No matter how loud he cried out against it, his voice would be rendered silent, stolen from his throat as it was ripped from wounded chords. His heart spurred to life, thumping in his chest angrily as it pounded against his walls as if it wanted to jump out.

He swallowed, and swallowed again, an attempt to push down the anxious feelings and bile suddenly strangling him. Beck’s brows knitted together, bending upward at his forehead into hard lines. Saturated with emotions unspoken, unseen, his odd colored gems pulled away from hers and up towards the cavern ceiling. There they trailed the stalactites, moving across the bows and bends of the natural stone formations. He clutched to them as an anchor.

“Kaida, it was a long time ago -” He steeled himself, taking his time to return his attention to her. Those dark features were soft, apologetic almost as his mouth turned down. “I don’t really like talking about it.” He couldn’t remember the last time someone had asked, if they had asked. Little did he expect those words to cross her lips, for their waltz to change, and for it to be her who had ventured to the thinly frozen over areas of his pond. Beck shrugged, uncomfortable with the weight that hung in the air now that it was no longer the right kind. “They’re the product of teeth and claws.” Brow arched, he learned in, the ghost of a smile haunting his face. He was hoping she wouldn’t find the omission offensive, or worse, be wounded herself that she had chosen to ask. He remembered another woman getting flustered and nervous just from staring at the long jagged marks that streamed his body, so much so she had been moved to apologize, but Beck didn’t want that for her. He didn’t want that for anyone. He wanted her comfortable with him, falling into his presence in the ways he wanted to fall into hers.

Returning to the words she had used, something within him had withered at them while another part grew firmer in its resolve. She wanted a friend, and so friend he would be. Her shoulder to find comfort, a confidant, a sword and a shield; he would serve with his all. A friend, a man, a soldier.

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

There was nothing that could've prepared Kaida for what her words would bring, the horrors that lurked beneath a strong stature and a humble smile. There was nothing that could've prepared her for the way he'd reacted to the simple question, no way she could've predicted her own. Her reaction was far from graceful, far from something she ever thought herself capable of mastering within her past. It was her past that held her back, that kept her from reaching toward him without hesitation. Her mind tugged at those chains, ripped at the ropes that bound her paws together, and then eventually let her tears melt the binds she thought eternal.

Kaida couldn't imagine what his past must've been like. She couldn't sympathize with something she knew nothing of, and neither he for her. But he'd tried, he'd tried mutedly. Without words, without touch, he'd sympathized with the pain beneath her skin, he understood the resilience she had when it came to him—withdrawing from him. He'd understood her, and it was she who couldn't respect his boundaries, couldn't read between the lines of his expressions. She was mortified, and utterly devastated.

But those binds had broken. They lie shattered at her feet, melting away within the water dripping from her pelt. Nothing more than a fawn on new legs, she rose to her feet and staggered over to him. There were no words on her tongue, no echo within the cave of her soft hums, and the rain had died to nothing, or perhaps it was merely shielded. The noises blocked behind some distant border as her attention went solely on the man, so kind and so sweet, as he battled a war she'd willingly opened the gates to. Her words left her then, soft coos as she draped her body around his backside, resting the crown of her head against the back of his neck. “Forgive me, Beck. Your demons might be as great as mine.” They were whispered within his fur as a paw lifted to pull herself impossibly closer, the appendage practically molded into the arch of his back.

She lay there, eyes pinched shut as the fears themselves cooed to her. They caressed her jaw hidden within the strands of brown, purred at her through pinned ears, and clawed at the paw she'd only tightened against his back. They wanted her to fear him—remember, remember, remember—but she refused. She only curled closer, using his warmth to chase away the demons lurking beneath her skin, to snap at the claws seeking to draw her away and back into the shell she belonged.

But she stayed. For him.

Her body shook ever so slightly, but she paid it no mind. She was here for him alone, and if it meant her fears were disregarded for a moment in time, then so be it. She'd let herself succumb to their wrath once he left. Once he was okay. Whenever that may be.

the staff team luvs u

If he blinked, he would have missed it. Horror shadowed her gaze, horror that quickly dissolved into something else that instantly made his innards ache. Before he was able to react, to soothe her with the tender draw of his words as they would wrap around her and tuck her in the warmth of a fitted sheet, she was gathering herself upon unsteady feet. Beck’s body instantly tensed in response, regret and panic swelling inside his confines as he chastised himself. This was it. This had done it. It was the finally straw to drive her away, to propel her from the moist floor and out the door indefinitely. In the game where he had been so careful to even move his piece, he had flipped the chess board and lost with the resounding echo of the pawns clattering across the ground.

But she wasn’t moving toward the opening, toward the rain and the outside and all things that led away from him. She was moving toward him, carried on uncertain legs that trembled like a newborn fawns. And in that moment, nothing in the world could have pulled his attention away from her. Watching her from behind eyes that were growing larger by the second, surging with surprise and curiosity, each one of her steps surely appearing to be the last before she had placed another, and another still.

Tension gathered in his spine, his chest, his stomach, his body inadvertently straightening upward as his shoulders squared. He didn’t know what to expect - He couldn’t expect, couldn’t get his thoughts around anything, his mind rendered a useless pool of goop under the influence of Kaida’s nearing presence. He heard her voice mere moments before he felt her touch, then more, so much more as her warmth invaded him and his mind stalled. She had grappled a paw around him, pulling herself closer still, impossibly so as her body melded into his; Her weight, her scent, her everything pressing into him.

And he froze.

Had he… had he concussed? Had a stalactite broken off, knocked him unconscious, and this was the wild fever dream his thoughts had offered up? No, no it was too real. Too warm. The heat of her was intense, even through her soaked pelt. Breathing felt too great a movement, too much a jostling that may dislodge her from where she lay, where she cuddled against him. She had spoken words against his skin, the sound shielded by the prickle of heat that crawled through him, up his back, and finally remained lingering at the back of his skull, dizzying him.

She was pressed against him, molding atop the curves of his hips like she belonged there. The warmth of her frame radiated outward and pulsated through him in a way he wished it hadn’t. A way that tightened his stomach and set him ablaze with a tantalizing burn. One he attempted to quell by clenching his jaws repeatedly, the muscle lining his mouth gathering itself rhythmically beneath the pressure. She could surely feel his heart, hear the erratic pounding as his lungs tentatively inhaled, drawing in the captivating aromas that belonged to only her. He couldn’t remember the last time he was touched, not like this. Not with so much care, a delicate softness that ached his insides with a yearning that could only beg for more. An experience that was lost on him, denied even in childhood, oh how he did savor it now.

He closed his eyes and swallowed.

Beck’s lids weighed heavy, his entire frame tense, as he moved slowly, so painfully slowly to turn his head and angle his muzzle toward her; to cup her head beneath the muscular curl of his neck. Not hard, not with force. No, he was careful, tender. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten her, scare her away. He only wanted to encourage her, thank her, even without the words that wouldn’t, couldn’t gather themselves upon his tongue to do so. He could feel her body trembling, shivering, from what he was certain hadn’t been the cold. He could feel the way she fought it, how she pushed herself against him tighter in response. Perhaps she would permit her demons to break free, only for a little while. Let them leap from the confines she tried to seal them behind, just as he had done, and together they could allow their demons to dance - To dance and dance, swaying with one another until they became just distracted enough to allow a moment like this to blossom.

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

He hadn't spoken. The cave's walls stared at her, beckoning her to join their shadows as the silence proved resilient, steadfast. He remained silent save for the heavy pump of his heart, beating against his chest walls so roughly she was sure it'd burst. A part of her hoped it would—metaphorically—she wanted his heart laid bare for her. She wanted to see the shadows that coated it, delve into the parts dead and wilted from lack of care. Her own beat to the pace of his, utter astonishment at her own actions more than likely the cause.

She didn't know what possessed her, what emotion deemed her past nothing but a mere stone to step over in the presence of this man. Now that she was here, cocooned in his warmth while the rest of the world fell away, she didn't question it. She questioned nothing but whether or not he was okay; if the rapid beat of his heart meant she'd only made it worse, if he truly didn't want her there, if he didn't forgive her prying. A slow tear drifted down her cheek, easily mistakable for the water that had yet to dry from her pelt. She didn't know what she'd do if he pried her from his pelt, if he pushed her away and let the shadows claim her. Her grip only grew tighter, holding onto her anchor with the last bit of life, of hope, she had left.

And then he was moving, slowly, but moving and her tears grew again. Behind pinched lids, a river threatened to flood the tendrils of hair on her cheeks, to drench Beck's fur along with it. She didn't realize she'd said it, could barely hear the words as they left her in nothing more than a murmured plead. Please don't leave... Perhaps he would, perhaps he'd take her for nothing more than a leech, grasping for strings she wasn't capable of giving him. Perhaps this had been the moment, the moment she'd been dreading since he spoke to her with concern, when he cared for Kaida not just the woman.

For a moment, she'd thought. She let all those thoughts consume her with a fiery burn that scorched her throat and left her gasping. Then they were gone, eased, completely erased as the man tucked her against him. She felt it then. The relief. It left her in a sigh so great, filled with an emotion she'd held onto for oh-so-long. It only sprung more tears to her eyes as she let herself nuzzle closer beneath his chin. She ran her head beneath the curve of his jaw and it took everything in her not to sigh with bliss.

This, she'd missed this. Missed the warmth only someone she trusted could provide, missed the care, and the comfort. She knew it wouldn't last, not permanently. But for now, she let herself relish in his touch, in the sweep of his muzzle over her head. She let his fur gather her tears, let her steadying heart match the heavy pumps of his. Something within her had broken, long before there ever was a Beck for her to know of, before she was even Kaida. It was waiting for her arrival, wickedly grinning as she descended from her mother's womb so it could wrap her within its cold clutches. It cooed to her the ideals of love, of true heart-aching love, and then let her live a life where it was torn from her time and time again.

She lived that life with no question, no complaint, and those cracks in her heart never healed. They grew into trenches, and with Beck, like nothing more than a needle and a strand of yarn found his yearning to stitch up her broken heart. She didn't know where they'd go; if he'd crave her now that he'd felt her. She'd hoped, despite the bliss she felt, that he'd find someone capable of giving him what he deserved. She'd hoped that he'd leave long enough to return with someone who would make his smile grand, who wouldn't shy from his touch, and who would give him an insurmountable love. Her fear was too great to give him any of it herself. Even if she so greedily took it now.

the staff team luvs u

Something within her crumbled, yet it was she who had crumbled it. She who had said no more, who broke the bindings of her shackles. The stones that had built her walls, forged those towers in her mind that had grown to the height of the clouds had been torn asunder. They first began to wobble the moment she stood, each unsteady step pressed to the ground causing a falter, a crack in the exterior. The moment she pressed herself into him however, the barricades had crashed down upon the ground. Every press against him afterwards only served to seal their fate in ash. They crumbled to dust, soot that was stolen away at the hands of the wind. No longer could they stack atop one another. No longer could they push her out. No more would she lay a victim behind them, not as she lay before him.

A murmur, a plea. His ears flexed to capture the sound of her delicate voice as he moved to cradle her. The words tangled into his dark fur, carried there by no more than a whispered breath. He felt it then. Deflating from her lungs, ones he hadn’t been aware were under such strain, a sigh scorched with emotion bled from her lips as an open wound.

“Kaida..” Hushed murmurs ebbed against her skin, his mouth ghosting her fur as his muzzle swept the soft curves of her head. Disbelief continued to snare him. A web that he attempted to navigate time and time again since the very first moment he had acquainted her, those silken threads bared like ropes designed to keep him out had vanished. Thin veils of ice threatening the soundness of the ground beneath his paws had hardened, and turned to stone. It was a fool’s errand trying to put together the pieces, to understand how the puzzle came together. Had it been the product of many pieces coming together, all placed with finite care, or had it been a decision he had no understanding of. Whatever the reason, he wouldn’t allow the opening to remain just that: an open door. Instead he’d run toward it with bated breath, eyes seeing but not quite yet believing.

Tucking her closer to him, he adjusted slightly so that his tail could fold over her body as a blanket. Tearing down his own walls, her movements guided his nose to her frame. Wherever he could comfortably reach became a pathway for his tender touches. Like a swan courting its intended, he stroked his muzzle down her slopes as he roved his nose gently over her body. Proximity had clouded his mind, the shock only serving to worsen the effects, yet the mental fog was only just beginning to clear. Following a steady arc, he nosed his way down her neck and back again.

His tongue ventured out in a slow, deliberate, and cautious movement as he placed a soft lick atop her head. If she pulled away, even now, he would give her the space she needed. If not, however, his tongue would become more exploratory, more firm. He would take his time, lick and lap at the fur decorating her neck, tasting her, drinking her in, petting down the soft browns with each stroke. Despite the deliberately slow avenue he had strolled across her body, Beck had failed to notice the tears she wept from heavy eyes.

He’d hope to hold her as long as he could, as long as she’d allow his large body to remain curled around hers. Until her breaths would slow and those mesmerizing jades would slip beneath shut lids. Until she’d fall asleep pressed against him, lullabied by their chests rising and falling as one. “Stay with me… I don’t want you to leave.” Another whisper, a plea that mirrored her own.

The morning would come soon and their illusion would shatter. The rain would stop, the fog would lift, the sun would part the horizon, and this small cavern would be hollowed and emptied. It would all come to be nothing more than a memory he’s cherish, but for now, in this moment he felt something he hadn’t felt in an astonishingly long time. Something he would catch like a bird in flight and hold tight to, even though by morning he would have to let it go. He’d have to let her go. Birds were not meant to live behind the bars of a cage.

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

The rustle of leaves beyond the mouth of the cave eased another sigh from the woman. The barrier had faded and the quick beat of his heart along with it, leaving her ears bare to the sounds she'd otherwise let herself forget. Even still, she didn't dare move from where she lounged against Beck's form, her nose pressed into his neck as his own muzzle slid across her fur. She was shaking still, paws hardly loosening their grip, but a shudder wracked her frame the moment his nose would meet with the top of her spine.

She feared it at first, felt her body begin to recoil from his touch, but then it'd retreated to her cheek, her forehead, her ears. When it returned to that place of horror, she was calmer, less jumpy. It helped that his scent had distracted her well enough, burned into her senses as she dove into the curve of his neck. Like a pup seeking the warmth of its mother, she buried her head against it while the brute only warmed her more with his tentative perusal. He cooed to her the words she didn't know she needed, the evidence that what she'd done was right in the hard face of wrong. A sigh and then she'd moved.

Regret hit her the moment a cold draft hit her cheeks and she'd longed to dive back into the furs of the man, just as she'd provoked earlier on. The thought brought a subconscious smile to her lips, her head lifting to stare at the man with something tender and sweet. She'd wait until his perusal ended, but until it did, she'd relish in the graze of his tongue and let the bliss fester. For this moment, she'd let him have her attention, let herself have his. She'd take it greedily; hold tight on the body that swarmed hers and let herself shudder with every lick he bestowed.

Despite her bliss, her fears lurked just beyond their bubble, peering in as she allowed this man into her arms. They chittered in disapproval and groaned beneath the wavering weight she'd thrown onto them to keep their talk quiet. Kaida refused to let herself fall victim to them quite yet, not when she was staring up at a man capable of liquidizing her fears into nothing more than a mere drop on the ground. No, she'd let herself enjoy this. Enjoy him. Kaida's smile broadened ever so slightly, cheeky in her own perusal as she brushed her nose against his throat.

There, she mimicked him, passing her tongue over the fur of his throat and then to the underside of his jaw in languid strokes. She was savoring him, savoring the time as much as she could. Kaida didn't know when it'd end, when that bubble would pop, and she'd fall beneath the thrall of her fears once more. She thought about it, her licks faltering before they began again. Again. And again. Tenderly and with as much reach as she was capable of mastering with their positions, she let her tongue pass across his scars, the skin smooth beneath her tongue as a low whimper left her maw.

She didn't know where they came from, or who did them. Despite how she felt about scars, how valiant she thought them to be; the idea of this man hurt, hurting, it made her heart pinch with something foreign. She hated it. With another low whimper, the woman replied, hushed against his fur.

“I am here, Beck. Listen to my breath, feel my warmth. I am here.”

the staff team luvs u

Warmth spread through him, radiating from his core and into the tips of his extremities. He could feel the heat, a tingling sensation prickling along his skin, though whether or not that was his own body or Kaida moving against him, he couldn't say. As if in a trance, he allowed his body to act of its own volition. It was his turn to seek her warmth once more, his head tipping forward to nuzzle her, his large paw moving to rest upon her stomach as he shifted. The action itself was intimate, perhaps too much so given their circumstances, yet he found himself incapable of caring. His actions were on autopilot now.

For a time he merely lay, allowing himself to be soothed by the rise and fall of her chest as he drank in the soft fragrance of her pelt. A sigh rumbled from him, the breath carrying away his lingering doubts, and the worry that had taken residence in his heart. He could sense her trepidation, could feel her body tremor with emotions he did not yet fully understand. He wouldn't push her, and as such he'd been careful not to move his nose further down her body. If she was going to allow this, if she was going to let him in, then she had to do it on her own.

The warmth had increased tenfold. It had become almost overwhelming, and he was sure that she could feel the fluttering of his heart as he held her. The heat spread quickly, like a forest fire engulfing a tree, and the flames licked their way through his veins. His blood pulsed beneath his skin, the tips of his ears burning hotly, and he wondered if she could hear it. Hear his pulse. He could, the sound roaring loudly, crashing against the shores of his consciousness, the waves rolling over him as he clung her.

Then, in a motion that both shocked and pleased him, she had reciprocated. She'd started small, barely noticeable at first, and had built with each slow, deliberate stroke of her tongue. With each pass over the surface of his skin, the thumping increased. It was like a drum, or perhaps a hummingbird's wings beating. The warmth had reached a peak and his own body began to respond in turn. As she pressed herself into his neck, he tilted his head down, offering his throat to her. It was a sign of vulnerability, of submission, and it was the one gesture that could truly show his trust in the woman. She would have full reign of his most vulnerable area, could do whatever she wanted.

Her words sent a shiver down his spine and his fur bristled, standing on end as if electrified. It wasn't the words themselves, nor the tone, but the proximity and the warm breath that brushed his fur. A whine, a gentle noise, barely audible and so uncharacteristic for the large male, escaped him and he found himself unable to suppress the desire to bury his muzzle in the curve of her neck. “Tu rends mes pensées floues, — You make my thoughts go hazy,” The scent there was stronger, a mixture of floral and something more earthy. His nose twitched and nostrils flared, taking in the heady smell that clung to her. “mon sang se transforme en lave dans mes veins, — my blood turn to lava in my veins,” Again his tongue darted out against her, burrowing his nose deeply into her sultry heat, but this time instead of brushing her fur he had tasted her flesh. She was salty, no doubt from the humidity that hung heavy in the air, and yet underneath that he could detect a sweetness. He savored it, a primal rumble humming within his chest, eyes flicking shut. “putain. — fuck.” Without a moment of uncertainty, he realized then that one taste would never be enough.

With the same amount of tenderness, he would nudge her, urging her to continue in her own explorations. Beck’s body tensed and his muscles twitched, fighting the urge to pull her closer. He'd let her do as she wished, and his tongue had already begun to venture towards the nape of her neck. If she didn't respond, then he would let the subject die and move onto another. He'd let her guide the moment and set the pace. He wouldn't allow himself to push her, not any more than she was willing to go.

She had spoke of friendship, hadn’t she? The word was like a ghost, an apparition that was both there and not. It was a word that was difficult for him to comprehend. He'd never had a friend before, never knew what it was like to have one. His world had been filled with cruelty, and hatred, and violence. This, them, what they were doing felt like more than just a friendship. It was an intimate dance, a connection that had blossomed between the two, a flower that had bloomed in the dead of winter, its petals opening and exposing the beauty hidden beneath the snow. Friendship. There was a certain sweetness, a certain purity to the word that caused his mind to whirl. Perhaps that's all it was. Or perhaps not.

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

Time seemed to blur the longer she spent draped within the arms of Beck, happily pressed against his solid form as he peppered her with attention. She was drowning within his heat, trapped between the longing to keep him company and the prick of her past that tugged the base of her spine. It wanted her to move, to retract from him and let their cold embrace her again, hopeful and oh-so-tender it cooed to her. But she was stuck, completely transfixed in the spot she'd molded against the man's arms. Bliss, she'd called it before, but almost seemed to be something more than that.

She didn't know what exactly. Maybe it was her hormones, or perhaps the fact that she'd been without someone for so long. Or maybe it was the mere fact that Beck offered her something more, offered her a carefree life where he sought to help her grow rather than keep her beneath his feet. He was different despite looking the same, despite how he stood and how his voice sounded. Her shudders weren't of fear or utter terror, but a pleasure that rumbled from the depths of her, a maiden donning the colors of her stolen virtue. She prayed to the gods, and prayed for love when she received nothing but. Maybe, just maybe, those prayers were being answered in the form of something she'd have to overcome.

The thought had the dame's head retreating ever so slightly, flutters of laughter leaving her as he dove within the furs of her neck, ravishing her with murmured groans and soft words of his language. She couldn't understand him, he knew that. Yet he continued to tease her so, dangling that carrot once more.

“You know your language is foreign to me. Why do you hide your words?” The woman murmured beneath the hush of her breath, the heavy beat of her heart resounding within her ears like a sweet melody within his presence. She'd hoped her words would draw him up from where he explored, quickly and while she was still capable of residing within the closeness of their bubble. Whether he ever decided to, her words still left her in a breathy exhale not long after, eyes roving over the pelt of the male to ensure it was him and not someone else.

“La tua anima è bella.” — Your soul is beautiful. Given he finally did rise up from her neck, she'd gently press her forehead to his, brows colliding while her shoulders sagged. Exhaustion hung a heavy weight on her, but she didn't want to sleep, not when she knew her demons would strike the moment those lids closed. She didn't want herself to wake with a start in front of him, not when her obvious would-be disheveled appearance would spur on too many questions, too many explanations she wasn't ready to give.

So she remained where she was, paws shifting to curl against the front of her chest as she let the looks of the brute in front of her sail her away. She'd hoped it'd be a land far away, hoped its beauty matched the grove, its peacefulness matched the dreams she'd always had. Her eyes searched Beck's, brows occasionally furrowing with a second's worth of sadness as she thought of all the places worthy of them exploring together. Another dream, she supposed, that would remain unachieved—distant.

the staff team luvs u

He held her, cradling her body within those strong arms in a way he had never held anyone before. There was a tightness in his chest causing his heart to clench, a feeling he hadn't felt in years. And instead of being overtaken with bliss, influenced by the simple pleasures of her folded against his chest, Beck wasn’t at ease. Not that he had ever expected himself to be, not entirely, but somehow he had derived some solace from her embrace before the demons would begin to unfurl in the depths and claw toward the light again.

What was he doing?

He paused. Movements slowed until they came to stall completely. In an attempt to soothe him, to lift the weight settling atop his spine, to alleviate the turmoils she felt responsible for reeling to the precarious surface, she had consoled him. What had he done but take it as an opportunity to allow his self control to falter, the whims of his body taking reign over that of his mind. An urge to claim and possess, a wanting to tame invading his every muscle that it had drowned out the part of him that would rationalize the severity of it all. Terror filled her gaze not more than moments ago at the thought of his touch, and here he reaped it over and over again. He hadn’t known why, nor could he ever possibly begin to understand the reasons behind her fear. What he did know was that it wasn’t the type of creature to suddenly vanish. A monster hidden under the bed would always rattle and writhe against the floor, just enough of a disturbance to alert its victims that they had reason to fear. They had reason to check with a flashlight, to stay stilled as they lay tensed beneath their silk sheets.

He could hear the voices, the skeletons rattling in his own closet, their murmurs like thunder in his mind, and their cries deafening. They called out to him, screamed and roared. Some demanded he release the female, to flee the cave, while others urged him to pull her closer, to wrap his arms tighter around her. He couldn't tell which were real and which were figments of his imagination, their screams so loud they had drowned out the sound of her heartbeat. The steady rhythm that had previously been his only comfort, a beacon in the dark of the stormy night.

The taste of salt still lingered in his mouth, his lips hovering near the hollow of her throat. His eyes had shut, lids pinched together tightly. A shudder, followed by a low murmur rumbled from his chest and his arms tightened their hold. The voices grew louder, and his breathing had become ragged. His body was tense, muscles strained as he tried to maintain his composure.

Then laughter. Her laughter. It drew him out of his thoughts, the sounds musical as it chorused around them and echoed off the cavern walls. Lids parting slowly, his stare met hers the moment his eyes opened. Everything else had faded away, vanquished by those pale green depths. Her words spun around him just the same, tangling the man up in ribbons that adhered himself to her by invisible threads. Arching in silent response, a brow climbed his forehead, eyes still ensnared within the captivating hold of hers. Foreign tones kissed his ears, tugging the very corner of his lips in the smallest way.

“Do you want me to tell you what I said?” His voice had been ripe with curiosity, a breathy rasp as the quiet words passed between ebony jowls. Within the swirls of green that reminded him of springtime, he swore he saw tendrils of sadness in her eyes, moments that came and gone in flashes. But exhaustion hung heavy in her features. He had seen it, noticed the way it tugged her, tempted her to rest against him and take comfort in his furs in the very same way she had said she wouldn’t. What he didn’t understand was why she wouldn’t allow it to take hold of her.

There was more to her story. More than just the relentless pursuit of a man engaging her with foolish sweet nothings and smiles in a grove canopied by fog. He had seen the horrors that flashed behind her eyes, felt the terror that clung to her hocks, and he had allowed it all to fade to the back of his mind all because she pressed her body to his. Had he been truly so deprived of touch that he lost his mind to it at the drop of a hat? “What are you thinking about?” Just a whisper, a breath of masculine vocals that swirled between them as he rested his head gently to hers where she had met him.

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

He'd paused. A pause so great and so long, she was sure she could hear the soft hairline cracks traveling throughout their bubble. She felt it then, finally as if those fears had been wading within shallow waters, biding their time for Beck to reconsider—for Kaida to do the same. They elicited another shudder from the dame, creeping up her spine and erasing his warmth with something cold and deadly.

Her heart began to race, her breath faltering as the reality of their situation, the reality of what she'd done settled over her in a thin cloud. It was a vapor inhibiting her, acting as the leading force in her actions, and in her thoughts as she slowly pushed a paw forward. A measly effort to push herself away even despite the tethers of warmth that were still intertwined with his. They kept her close, kept her against his side, but all she could begin to feel was the cold. It was unrelenting.

And then he'd spoken and her eyes widened, turning to him with awe and gratitude. It drew her back in again, a baritone that traveled through her mind and trickled down her spine. The words broadened her smile, as if that simple question—that request—was what she'd dreamed of hearing. So with a voice breathless with curiosity, she uttered a soft word paired with a gentle brush of her nose against the side of his maw. “Please.”

A sigh left her soon after, relief easing her shoulders as she found her own comfort in the solace of his presence. Her eyes closed and everything in her focused on where their bodies connected; where her side pressed against his, where their foreheads met, the gentle touch of her paw against his chest. It fueled the warmth blooming within her chest and whipped at the lingering fears infringing in a place they didn't belong.

Words left him and she'd barely registered them, too hyper-focused on the warmth he emitted and the gentleness he held despite the desperation she could feel leaking off him. “I dreamt of a man like you. When nights were most hard, and...the cold killed. Men like you were fantasie, I feel like it is a dream. Now. Here, with you.” Her eyes remained closed as if they were making sure the picture of Beck remained in a box separate from the men she'd grown up around.

the staff team luvs u

A welcomed relief appeared to wash over her, a cool wave that took with it her anxieties and worries and left only peace behind. He would only oblige to her request, anything to grow that grin widening her face. Something twisted within him, heat flushing his face. It was the most he had seen her smile. The same girl who’s eyes had flushed with fear and who’s body had frozen with terror now smiled as though the sun itself had glimmered in those bright pale green lenses. Turning his head into her touch, his voice matched hers: breathless.

“I said, you make my thoughts go hazy,” He brushed his muzzle into hers, a feather-light touch the trailed the lines of those slender muscles. “And my blood turn to lava in my veins,” He admitted, the tone of his voice becoming a low rumble. He continued his path as her eyes flickered shut. “Then I think I said fuck.” Pressed into the sweet smells and the warmth that cascaded down her body, the vibrations of his laugh were muffled to almost nothingness against her skin.

It was another moment before her voice flooded his ears, her lids remaining shut while she spoke. That admission had cut his world in two. It wasn’t scars she had dreamt of, not entirely, but it was a man - it was him. Beck’s breathing hitched, the air in his lungs disappearing in no more than an instant. He swallowed hard, his eyes trained intensely upon her closed lids. In part he was glad she wasn’t watching him come undone before her, but there was another part of him that wanted nothing more than to bathe himself in the calming waters of her pools all the same.

He paused once again, inhaling slowly, taking back the breath that she had stolen and let his eyes slip shut. Then, he gradually began to shift. His head drifted away from hers, stilled on it’s path as he reconsidered, but then it continued, his muzzle moving forward to the pale diamond shape on her forehead. There he would hover, another breath, another moment before his lips would ghost that mark with a tender, lingering kiss.

Her’s was the promise of happiness. Gentle touches, flowers braided into the long flowing silk of his fur, and what he was sure would have been a lifetime worth of ceaseless smiles. And here she was, woven into his arms and curled at his chest. It was everything he had ever wanted. A friend, a partner. A soul that would stay and weather the storm, not abandon him when the seas grew choppy. Was that too much to ask for? Certainly too much to expect of a person he'd only just met. He'd had relationships in the past, of course. But never like this. Never had his emotions been swayed this deep, this fast. It was like he knew her, maybe from another life. It was a thought he had considered before, a fleeting explanation for things that even he didn’t quite believe, yet there were no violet flowers around to blame his rationalizations on this time. His mind raced, thoughts spinning, a cyclone that was impossible to navigate as he fell victim to the push and pull of their dance. It was everything he had dreamed of, but nothing of what he deserved.

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

“You mean to tell me, sweet Beck, that I have been your undoing and not that pesky fog?” Her words were laced with amusement, jades swimming with mirth as she relaxed again. They turned with adoration and something distant, reminiscent of a far-off memory that she only wanted to replace completely with this one. She felt it then: that old memory morphing into this one, now, with him leaning into her touch and that smile ever-present on his beautiful face.

Kaida's eyes couldn't stray from him, couldn't move beyond his own, not until he forcefully removed them from hers. Then his muzzle was pressing against hers, ghosting across it with a slow and light enough effort to have her sighing in unrestrained bliss. She listened to his words, listened as heat lined her cheeks and slid down the back of her neck. She could feel that very lava in her own veins, the way her entire body heated from a single glance over her.

Then the curse rang from his jowls and Kaida couldn't help but laugh again, joining his muffled efforts of amusement. She didn't know what to say, what to offer him when his words sent her abdomen aflame, her heart racing, and her mind just as hazy as he described. It was impossible to ignore, absolutely impossible to describe in the manner with which it deserved. She opened her mouth to reply, only to fall short yet again, but she was fine with it. Utterly fine in that moment to deem it as nothing short of a dream.

Eyes alight with that same adoration from before, she watched as his head lifted, as his nose pressed against her forehead. She sighed again, tail interrupting the heavy breaths of them both as it tapped against the stone floor. Her smile had stretched beyond what she ever thought it capable of doing, its action a victim to the suaveness that was Beck. Kaida waited a beat, her tail faltering in its rhythm as she thought for a moment before her tongue fluttered with the words that left it. “What are you thinking about?” She echoed him, shifting beneath the gentle caress of his touch.

Almost as if she were starved already, her paw inched to ghost over his, curling around it and tugging it toward her chest. She settled with it there, sliding the toes of her paw over his in a distracted haze while he remained with his muzzle to her head. Beyond everything else—the touches, the whispers, the desires that hung like fraying threads above their heads—she wanted to know what he was thinking. Where his mind immediately ran off to in her presence. So she waited, eyes opening to look downward at their paws.

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A chuckle escaped his throat. His voice was low, a deep sound that rumbled through his body, reverberating into her where they were connected. It wasn't forced, or put on, rather, it was a genuine reaction to the woman nestled against him. “And to think all this time you’ve been blaming the fog.”

His mind was still racing, a mess of thoughts and emotions that whirled in a chaotic storm, threatening to spill from his mouth. His gaze was fixated on her, the soft green of her irises and the way they reflected the low lighting around them. It was something he had never seen before, the way she looked at him. A mixture of admiration, and wonder, and something he couldn’t quite identify.

It had been the first time he'd witnessed it. The first time that someone had stared at him with such an intensity of anything other than fear. He'd grown accustomed to that look. He'd learned to ignore the hushed voices and the way eyes would narrow, the way jaws would clench when he passed. He'd grown so used to being an outcast that it had become normal. And yet there was a woman staring up at him as if he was the only thing worth looking at.

Butterflies stroking their wings to his insides, his chest lifted and fell deeply as he sucked in the stagnant air around them. Her touch was so light, a mere whisper, and yet his skin burned where her toes grazed his. That fire, it had spread through his body, seeping into every inch of him. His mind was a haze, filled with thoughts of her, and her smile, and how beautiful she was. She yanked the appendage towards her, almost possessive, pulling his eyes down to where their paws lay intertwined. Where she had placed him, it was directly over the center of her chest. It was as though she were allowing him to feel the beating of her heart, the thumping rhythm a steady tempo as it thrummed beneath his touch. A warmth spread across his cheeks and his ears twitched. The woman was going to be the death of him.

There was a moment before his eyes dropped from hers, his nose brushing against the side of her face as he spoke, his voice a hushed whisper. He could feel the warmth of his breath against her cheek as he leaned into her, his muzzle resting against her jaw. He could feel her pulse thrumming, beating just as quickly as his own, the rhythmic thump like a siren song.

Many things had been on his mind. Questions he was afraid to ask, words he didn't want to say, but ultimately one thing had trumped it all. What he wanted was her, to feel the soft fur of her face brush against his own. Of course he wouldn’t admit that, not now. So he said the only thing that he could muster, his lips brushing her jawline with a barely audible tone.

“I’m wondering why you look so tired but you don’t want to sleep?” His paw flexed in her grasp, curling around hers further. Hips shifting, he adjusted his position, the muscles in his arm tightening as he moved. He'd brought her closer, if it was possible, and pulled her flush against his body. His eyes slipped shut briefly, a content sigh passing through parted jowls. He allowed himself a moment, to take her in, to soak in the warmth of her body against his. If only they could have remained like that forever.

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

“I do still think that fog had its hand in the game.” She added with a careless glance thrown his way, her maw lifting ever so slightly at the press of his own against it. She didn't dare lift it beyond his gentle touch, didn't dare pull away from the caress of his breath against her skin. She stayed there, dreaming, reminiscing of a world that could never have cared as much as this one did.

She felt spoiled, so much so especially when he'd tugged her closer, pulled her further into his warmth like he couldn't get enough. And neither could she, she realized, not when she shifted so her legs tangled with his and her head buried beneath his chin. She was breathing him in, letting her mind go drunk off the sight of him, the smell, the feel. It was tantalizing, a forbidden fruit she more than likely should've never taken a bite of.

His question flooded her body with something cold and bitter, a shudder wracking her body that only urged her inward before she bellowed a sigh. It was a small secret she could give, a small piece of her heart that she'd accepted would never be fixed. Telling him wouldn't fix it, but perhaps it'd ease his curiosity, give him some insight in a world full of secrecy and knowledge unobtained.

“There are monsters.” A small smile and a shift of her legs against his. “They favor the day just as much as the night, but with darkness, they're bolder. If I sleep, sweet Beck, I drown. If I willingly sleep, I fear I might not wake again.” She sighed again softly, her words a vibrating murmur against his chest as his warmth coiled around her. Her explanation was vague, but real enough to tug on the leashes of those terrors.

They jostled and pulled the moment their mention left dark lips, exhaustion pouring over her in waves at their hand. Her heart quickened but she remained where she was, almost as if Beck was the last tether to a reality she felt she was losing.

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He'd chuckled, his laughter rumbling deep within his chest. She'd blamed the fog. Of course she had. She was stubborn, he knew that already, but to blame the fog...

As her voice echoed in the empty space around them, her explanation was vague, yet the meaning behind it was clear. In an instant the man had gone still, the only motion of his being the rise and fall of his chest. He'd closed his eyes, inhaling her scent and memorizing the way she felt against him. For a moment, he had allowed his mind to wander. What if she hadn't been there? Would he have been alone still, left to his thoughts, and the sounds of the rain pattering on the roof. Would he have remained tucked within the cave, lost in the shadows and drowning in the silence.

What she had chosen to share with him was but a small glimpse into her mind, into the past that she held tight the door in fear of the creatures that pounded on the feeble wood that separated her world from theirs. No matter her efforts, it appeared that some were still able to creep their way out, clawing holes into her exterior by means of long black putrid claws.

A sigh escaped him, his breath stirring her fur in small circles. He could hear the way her breath increased, could feel the way her heart had begun to beat faster. And while it was subtle, he'd also sensed the way her body had tensed, muscles rigid as the terrors clawed at the fringes of her mind.

Pushing his forehead gently to her once more, he nuzzled her softly, slowly, a means to try to calm her and bring her back down to earth. Back to the present where all that existed was the warmth of their small dwelling and the playful exchanges they had shared.

“How can I help, ma petite fluer?”

@Kaida
the staff team luvs u

“Oh, Beck...” Kaida murmured with a shake of her head, her paws pushing against him as she eased herself back. She couldn't bear to hurt him with the words that threatened to leave her lips, couldn't bear to see that compassion leak from him as she rejected his kindness. She could not lie to him either, the words would've been a stuttering sound—a confidence long since gone.

So she did what she could, his words falling on a woman with a steeled mouth. She lifted a paw and gently slid the back of it across his cheek, her head cocking to the side as a sad smile shifted her lips. “I fear there is nothing for you to do.” There never would be, not for her, certainly not when her nightmares couldn't be plucked from her mind like flowers in a field.

Sleep would come to her soon, he needn't be concerned for that. Beautiful words and actions of warmth were happy things, things that made her heart flutter and set her mind afloat, but they were futile in the battles that conquered her mind. He was futile in the battles of her mind. It wouldn't matter how much he tried, how much he cared, or even how much he grew to love; they would remain as they always have been, terrors strong and fruitful.

“I will be fine. You do not need to worry over me.” She reiterated aloud this time, ears flicking as she settled back against the chest of the male. She hoped he'd leave it at that, change the subject—anything. Anything to break the barrier that had once again began to build its way back up around her heart.

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