and i believed i could

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@Faust

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One moment the young woman had been on solid ground with her feet planted in place and mind made up.. And then the next, she was air bound and she was... flying. 

Soaring across a landscape she could have only imagined in her dreams. 

She was alive.

She was free.

There was nothing holding Tove back and she had never felt so powerful and indestructible before. Hot and burning adrenaline pumped through her veins and her lungs begged for air as a scream filled with both terror and joy rang out amongst the stars. She really was flying! Perhaps she should have listened to the boys more often! This was fun!

Until it wasn't and suddenly all she felt was pain. Pain that completely rocked her to her core and made her scream again, this time a noise void of any joy.

She screamed and screamed until she could no more and her throat was burning and raw. Help. Please. Her begs were silent and pleading...And unanswered or so she thought. She lay there in a new land, hallow and shivering as the time passed. Her mind emptied but it was not peaceful. It was full of dark tendrils that only burned and caused her more pain as they found their home within her brain. Her usual piercing gaze was vacant and she was unaware of any changes that had taken place around her. Tove.. appeared gone. The she-wolf was broken and her body seemed oh so small as she lay there curled in upon herself, unable to move.. Unable to fight.

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At this time, Faust had been merely out looking towards the stars. Up there, way above, he would offer soft prayers and take note of the star pattern atop of the ridge that he chose. A special ridge. The one where he found Savan near.

He swore the stars flickered, blinked with light, and then something fell.

In the stark of night, there had been a plummet. Confused, Faust would trot down the mountainside. It must be a message from the Star Mother herself— convinced of such a thing, he smelled her then. Her sweet scent. Vanilla and the cool scent of fresh mint.

It couldn't be, could it?

Faust couldn't believe the luck he's had. The luck with them. They're starting to sprout right from the ground, aren't they? Rather, fall from the sky. Faust's gait picked up, turning into a sprint as he crossed the Vale. His vale.

When he approached her, he thought he was dreaming. It was almost unreal to see her laying there, curled into a ball. His voice was quiet, gentle as he called out to her.

"Tove?" He'd breathe, afraid that she might disappear into thin air. Softly, his nose jutted against her as a greeting. He saw that she breathed, but she shook with terror."It is me. Faust."

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 The fallen star took no notice of Faust when he first neared, completely oblivious that her dear friend had appeared when she needed him most. The dark she-wolf's hazel eyes were shut tight as she continued to shake, her breaths labored and quick. Everything was hard to hear; it was all both too loud and too quiet. It made her dizzy. Her very bones ached and she was worried if she tried to move she would find herself falling once more. As someone who prided herself on logic and having the answers, Tove found herself grasping for clarity. 

What was going on?

What had happened?

Where was she?

Where was Tam and Arc?
 
A baritone voice that she’d known her whole life and a gentle nudge had Tove gasping aloud and stirring from her previous rigid position.  Aah! Hazel eyes were quick to widen in shock as she found herself being forced back to reality whether she wanted to be or not... Whatever that was now was.

Her soft gaze was hazy and blurred as she blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear away some of the fog that had found home in her usual sharp mind. A hushed groan was let out, followed by a wrinkle of her nose as she found herself breathing in a scent she had known her whole life. It was a woodsy warmth with floral undertones that she knew too well. Faust.

Unsteady and still pained, Tove scrambled to her feet as quickly as her frail body would allow and turned her gaze onto the larger man, face alight with both relief and confusion. She scanned him thoroughly, checking and hoping that he too was not injured. Was he okay? Why was he here? What about Tam, Arc? - she feared the worst for their kin. Part of her blamed them for this whole mess, given their usual antics but her worry for them outweighed any residual ridicule.

 "Faust,” she whispered shakily, quick to reach upwards (a sight to see, as she was much smaller than him) and press her face into his if he’d allow, heart thudding as she felt a momentary sense of calm. I see you.  I see you. I see you.

Despite the comfort, Tove didn’t waste time pulling back and let her front paws thud softly to the ground only to find herself stumbling slightly. Gods. She ached all over.

 Who knew dying would hurt so much, eh?

 Huffing quietly, she shook her head in frustration. She could worry about herself later. “Tam…Arc,” she started, looking up towards the dancing sky as she felt her heart break. Nothing was said about the tears she felt begin to well up and threaten to spill over. “Doru-borto! Pōnta dōrī gaomagon pōja heads. Bearbreath Fools!!” — Dumb! They never use their heads! Bearbreath fools! I’m so sorry. 

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Tove jumped at his contact. He pulled away, giving her the space that she needed. "Relax. Relax. It's just me," he'd coo, voice low and sultry. "Just...me."

He'd watch as she scrambled to her feet, coming quickly to her side. His head came to reach hers halfway in their touch. I see you.

His voice was still soft. "You're unharmed?" Faust would breathe, chest suddenly heaving with worry. He had always been more protective over her and Mia than with his brethren. She was special. Special to him.

She had been concerned about the others. Tam, Arc. He'd chuckle, almost out of sorrow, that she had been more concerned for their wellbeing than her own. When she was the one who fell out of the skies above. She swore at him in their tongue, but he had a feeling it wasn't his doing. "Skoros's pirta?" — What's wrong? He would ask, taking his forehead away from her own to get a good look at her.

"They are here—" His head referenced to the Vale around them. "Arcturus, Tamir. They are here and well."

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‘Just me’, he’d said as if that was nothing of importance. Just me. As if that didn’t matter. If anyone else had found her here, broken and small, it was likely that Tove would probably still be in pieces. A puzzle that nobody could solve. Faust, as much as he irked her and pushed her buttons, always seemed to know how to make things right without doing much at all.

Not that she’d ever tell him that.

“I am…unharmed,” she whispered to him, not quite believing her own words. She was alive… and there were no physical injuries but the pain was unmistakable and she had never felt such terror. She didn’t know if she would ever be able to forget it. Tove was unable to hold back the shudder that came at the very thought and her breath would hitch in her throat. Don’t think about it.

”Iksan daor ōdrikagon” — I am not hurt.. She spoke clearer this time and there was no noticeable tremble to her words but she refused to look at him as she said it. He shouldn’t have to worry about her.

When he asked her what was wrong, the she-wolf almost laughed at him and wanted to cry out. Was he too not breaking for their brethren? Their kin. Tove assumed that Faust, above all, would be the most distraught even if he was not as open about it as she.

So… Why wasn’t he? Nothing was making sense here.

Before she could say anything else, Faust gave her the most surprising news and she felt her stomach drop and it almost made her hurl. Arc and Tam were alive. They were alive! Tove couldn’t help it now as the tears that had been starting earlier began to spill over and she cried out, her teeth snapping together in a loud clack. "Pōnta're daor morghe? They’re alive?" — They’re not dead?

Her forest eyes, all though wet and weepy, were soft and pleading as she stared at Faust before her gaze was on their surroundings. What was this place? It was beautiful and she hadn't taken notice until now. The boys were somewhere out there? Alive and safe? Tove couldn’t believe it.

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A sigh of relief left his chest at the words 'I am unharmed,' because quite frankly, Faust didn't think his heart could handle it if she wasn't. Her words drifted to uncertainty, though, not above a whisper. He knows her tones. At least, he thought so.

She repeated herself once more, tone of voice clearer, but distant. She looked away from him then. His heart wept. His eyes of blue and green swelled with an antimony of concern, brows turning upward as he followed her eyes, coming close to her once more. This time, if she'd allow it, his head curled and wrapped around the base of her neck, holding her close.

"Ivestragon nyke. You know I'll listen." — Tell me. His voice was more stoic this time, but still gentle nonetheless. He wouldn't let himself fall into tears in front of her. He had to remain strong. No matter the cost. What frightened him more, though, was the fact that he would, would beg her to tell him the truth.

She was always so stubborn.

Her reaction to the news was overjoyous. A chuckle left the furyborn himself, feeling the pull of her magnetic touch. He pulled away from her then, seeing the tears dribble down her cheeks. With his nose, amiably, he wiped away the tears. "Yes, Stoirín. They are here. They're okay." — Darling / sweetling. he didn't mean to call her that, it just...

  slipped out.

She looked better now. Tense shoulders dissipated, eyes focusing as she looked around. He had only one question for her: "Do you like it?"

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Albeit surprised, Tove did not shy away from his comforting embrace and instead, she found herself leaning into him. A breathy sigh was let out and her shoulders would slacken, snout buried deep into the depths of his fur. His scent was strong but not overbearing and its familiarity was a much needed comfort. As much as they teased him for it, the floral undertones always made her smile - a secret she planned to keep.

His gentle words to her, a luring coax to let him in had Tove pressing her face deeper into his chest and grunting softly. It was a quiet sound but one that was a soft plea. Both a no and a later and she hoped he would understand. Not now. She couldn't talk about it now. It was all too fresh and as much as she liked to pretend she was tough like the rest of them, she could only take so much.

Part of her was finding herself sad and full of longing when Faust pulled himself away. The young woman pushed the feelings aside, blaming it on the comfort one would crave from kin. Surely he felt the same, as would Arc and Tam if they too had hugged her close. However, Tove found her heart leaping when he called stoirín and she couldn’t help but watch him amidst the falling tears as he wiped them away, ears twitching.

Surely it meant nothing… Right?

If it had been another time or another lifetime, perhaps she would have teased him or sought to question him but right now? There were more pressing matters at hand.

His reassurance didn’t stop the tears as they spilled forth but there was no sorrow on her face. Thank the Star Mother they were okay. “Don’t you dare tell them I cried,” she warned with a sniffle, matching his laugh with one of her own, nose wrinkling in his direction. She was sure she’d never hear the end of it.

With that said and done, Tove’s focus was solely on admiring the Vale and her wet eyes were wide with wonder. Her lips parted in a silent gasp, her awe shining as bright as the moon. Leave it to Faust, she thought. Amongst the chaos, he was still able to find… this. An answer to everything. Their own Empirum on earth.

Daor — “No- I love it,” she breathed in reply, ’Īlva lenton — Our home.

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The grunt that he felt when she was pulled against her chest would be enough for him for now. For now. Her thoughts, feelings, and ways of expression had always been so hard for him to read. But he cared. He cared so much that he took the time, and still is, to take note of her habits. Her tells.

While it wasn't the answer he had hoped for, it only meant that he had to work harder. Faust had never been a wolf to slack on the job.

A chuff left his throat. She had been worried that he'd go telling is brothers about the way that she cried and wailed against him in fear for their lives. If anything, he would rather take the plunge into The Deep than let them have the satisfaction of knowing. "Ȳdra daor zūgagon. Your secret's safe with me." — Don't worry.

He would reassure her, chuckling in brief, noticing the scrunch of her nose. "Maybe." He'd add on, because in truth...it was quite funny that she cared so much. Especially for being infamously stone-hearted when it came to them, he found it endearing. Found it new.

Faust's eyes did not leave her face. The awe that was inscribed on her features was an image that he would hold dear. She likes it.

He thought his heart fell out of his chest when she said 'our home.'

Faust knew what she meant. Of course he did. But it felt different. Not that he would say that to her aloud. "The Star Mother guided us here." he would say, finally taking his eyes away from her face— but he had a feeling that she may notice. She notices everything.

"And you'll...be staying here, too?" it may have been a stupid question, but even he needed the reassurance.

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Tove gave a small sigh of relief when he promised to keep her secret and she couldn’t help but smile at him - a toothy foolish smile that met her eyes. She was embarrassed, that much was obvious. But it wasn’t because of how much she cared but because of how she’d acted. Crying, breaking down? Letting her usual cool exterior crack? It was weak and she knew better.

Thankfully, it had been Faust as witness. Anyone else and it might have been more mortifying.

He was a comfort.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his comment and playfully snapped her jaws in his direction, ”Ȳdra daor ao dare!” — Don’t you dare Dancing eyes would narrow playfully and she’d bare her teeth, ivory flashing under the moonlight. Grr. Despite her idle threat, she did believe him. Faust was a man of his word.

At the mention of The Star Mother, Tove felt a weight lift off her shoulders and she couldn't help but look up at the night sky and she could swear she saw a star wink and shimmer brighter than the rest. Thank you. Thank you.

They had so much to be thankful for, didn’t they? It was their duty to make this new life, this second chance worthy of Her blessings.

Soft eyes would find Faust again and it was only moments after his had left her and she found herself staring again. Wondering. Still full of awe. The Star Mother may have guided them but it was Faust who She truly led here and that meant something. Tove knew it.

Even under a starlit sky, she could see the beauty in this place. A home amongst the stars. Their home. It was meant to be. She couldn’t wait till she could truly explore and see all it had to offer.

”Kessa,” — Yes the young woman promised, dipping her head low before she gave a hushed chuckle. “Ȳdra daor sagon dovodedha.” — Don't be silly.I’m not going anywhere.

Watching him, she realized she never fully asked him how he was - she’d only been concerned about everyone else.“Are you hurt? Are you okay?” A frantic step followed by another was taken despite her own weakness and she nosed at his shoulder before moving to his side, scanning him more thoroughly than she had when he’d first made it to her. There were no injuries that she could see but that didn’t mean anything.

“If you’re here as well.. Does that mean you…?” Tove couldn’t even say it; it made her heart shatter in more pieces than she could even count.

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Tove's confirmation meant more to him than he imagined it would. He knew that Tamir and Arcturus would follow him anywhere. They were brothers. It was what they did. But Tove...while she had been a forever friend, she would tell him the truth. Tell her how she felt, at least most of the time, and if he was making a big mistake. But lingering in her eyes he could see that there was a sparkle. A sparkle of gratefulness.

He did well.

"Sepār verdagon drēje." — Just making sure. He'd shrug his shoulders with a playful, half-toothed smile. His confident aura still lingered around him, but he had dropped it momentarily to be vulnerable. He was allowed to be vulnerable. Rather, he felt safe to be. Was that such a crime?

He didn't have time to answer her right away as she nosed his shoulder and circled him to inspect him for injuries. For a moment he simply let her examine him. He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. Only one phrase came to mind.

"I'm okay."

There was nothing else to tell. Nothing else that he wished to—

'did you...'

Faust froze briefly, wondering if that...that had been a reason. His truth lay buried within the mountains of their home. Old home. Sharp ridges that he danced around. Got lazy with. There hadn't been much to his life after Savan's death.

But if that's how he ended up here, did that mean the same for the others? To protect her, he shook his head lightly. The lie burned on his tongue. He thought he was going to be sick. "One minute I was home, then I was here." His brows furrowed with confusion, worry ridden in his eyes. "What could you mean? ...Tove?"

He beckoned a question. Faust repeated her name on his tongue, tenderly so.

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The more she thought about it, the more Tove realized that there weren't many places she wouldn't follow Faust. Ends of the earth and all that. Even as a she-pup with a snotty attitude, she'd never strayed too far. He, along with the others... Were her family. Another blessing from the Star Mother herself and that was never something to be taken for granted.

As she'd gotten older, a part of her also realized that it wasn’t just Faust being her family. It was different with him… Something different that made her heart sing and her stomach flutter.

Not that she'd ever tell him that. Or admit it aloud.

As Tove scanned his body for markings and signs of injury, she felt herself grow anxious. What if someone had hurt him? What if he'd suffered like she had... Or even worse? Her eyes would squeeze shut as she caught her breath, chest heaving with the effort it took to fill her lungs.

'I'm okay' he said; a simple answer. A simple answer that was followed by his body stiffening and if she hadn't been so close to him, it might have gone unnoticed. It made her frown and press her face into the side of him, huffing quietly. Tove breathed in his scent, savoring it. She wouldn't press more but she wanted too.

Tove shook her head against him, keeping her face buried at his line of questioning. "Faust... It's nothing," she replied, a quiet whisper. Her own face, albeit hidden, mirrored his own: worry and confusion edged on her gentle features. "Iksan sepār biare ao found nyke." — I'm just happy you found me.

Her words rang true and in that moment, she wanted more than anything to say words he’d uttered earlier, call him stoirín and make all the bad go away but she held her tongue. She hoped that was enough.

The she-wolf stayed put for a short time before pulling her face away, sniffling quietly. Feelings. Ugh. They were exhausting. Dismissing her worry for now, Tove gave a shake of her head and moved back to Faust’s frontside to peer at his face, her expression gentle. Hazel eyes would search his briefly before she nudged at his snout with her nose, chuffing. "You said the others were here.. Should we join them?"

As much as she wanted to stay here - stay with him and enjoy their reunion under the stars.. She missed their family. She missed them all being giez. — whole

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Faust was glad that she didn't push the topic further. What was he supposed to say? The truth? It wasn't a viable option. It wasn't something she would need to fuss over, which he knew she would.

He didn't know what to say to her except for a dismissive, "I am too."

And then the topic had been changed. Moved on. In actuality, it would be enough for Faust then. He could tell she didn't want to talk about it. Fine. He could wrap his head around that, but not for very long. He was a patient man and could wait, but his soul itched to find out what had happened to her.

She came around to his front side. Tove looked at him with her kind eyes, a silent plea that this would all blow over at some point. At some point. He wanted to scoff, throw a fit like a teenage boy, but he resisted. He was stronger than that. But he wanted to so bad.

With a curt nod of his head, he stood too. "I'll show you around first."

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end here / we can start new

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