we fight, we fall

White petals and their stems stuck from either side of her maw as Gjalla padded across the clearing as another round of wind swept through the valley. It brought short respite from the evening sun, but that was not what caught her attention.

Something metallic lingered in the air, rich and dripped with warmth. If she were not so close to the source, perhaps she would have missed it. Still, ichor did not have to stain grass for her to notice it, and she’d track it back to her and Vahaelarr’s shared den.

Periwinkle eyes swept the cave’s entrance, searching for any signs of disturbance, and that's when she saw him. Dread etched itself into her features, pulling an involuntary frown at the sight.

Torn flesh and tired eyes kept her focus. The flowers that sat between her teeth fell from her mouth quickly. "I can't leave you alone for one minute, can I?" The words felt scolding, but they held no weight with such a tender tone.

With a grace that belied her worry, she moved silently toward him and dropped her head to look over him. “What happened? Tell me,” She asked, but it felt more like a demand.

---

for @Vahaelarr

the staff team luvs u

He'd banished himself to the back of he and Gjalla's shared hollow. Secluded himself, and that is where he had been for several hours. He ached. He was bruised, bloodied, his slate fur which was normally in impeccable condition now reduced to tatters. Vahaelarr had been replaying the moments over and over -- reliving the fight in his mind time and time again. There was no possible way to put into words the severity of the shame he felt; it's icy grips had dug deep into the exiled Prince, if he could even be called that anymore. 

In fact, Vahaelarr didn't think he wanted to be. That wasn't who he was anymore. Ludon had stripped him of that pride, and Vahae had deserved it. Just when Vahae had finally gotten some scrap of family back, it was gone. By some grace, Ludon had the will to not slay Vahaelarr when he lay defeated. At least it spoke of the love his little brother still held for him. Vahaelarr knew that, deep down.

When he'd heard her coming, his head had turned, lilac eyes stained with exhausted tears pulling towards the entrance of the den. There she stood, her face nothing but a frown, her periwinkle eyes full of emotion. As if it couldn't get any worse, he had upset Gjalla with his pitiful state. Flowers, bunched between her teeth, fell lifelessly to the stone floor of the small cave fit for two, and she strode forwards, the words she spoke jarring but soft. A tease, one meant to lighten his spirits. He smiled weakly, an attempt at showing her he was okay. But he was not okay. Physically, he was only a bit battered; but emotionally... he was shattered. “You should.” He muttered, turning his face away from her so that she could not look upon his shame. “Leave me alone, that is. I am not worthy.” Fool. He could hear her now, but he said it anyways. It was the truth.

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out but a broken whine. His teeth gnashed together in an angry snap, directed at himself, eyes squinting shut to prevent the stinging tears from springing forwards. “I am a failure. I have failed you, I have failed my family. I am not worthy of the name Frostfyre.” He spoke pitifully.

His next words were but a mere whisper. “Ludon... he was here.”

the staff team luvs u

A long breath pushed from her lungs, sympathetic. Turmoil radiated from lilac eyes, sorrowful wet with tears. Vahae's weak smile didn't deceive her. She knew him well enough to see through the facade. His response cut through the air, laden with self-doubt and despair. It pierced her heart to see him so.
 
The words stung her, but the princess did not waver. She couldn't never turn him away, not when he was in such pain. "Hush, we will have none of that now." She muttered, body curling at his side to sit.
 
Gjalla did not know his kin the way she knew him, so she wouldn't comment on it. "How have you failed me, then, hm?" He searched months for her after she disappeared - he'd admitted as much. He swore himself to her side willingly. He found them a home. "Your worth is not determined by your name or mistakes, Vahaelarr. You know this."
 
Her tongue made a short stripe up his cheek as she reached out a paw, gently touching his in reassurance. "You have only ever supported me, and it would be my failure to do the same for you."
 
The weight of that revelation hit her like a blow to the chest. To fight his kin, one he'd loved so deeply, she could not imagine the pain it brought. Gently, she'd prod for more while reaching for the herbs. "And what did he say?"

the staff team luvs u

At least in such lonely times, when Vahaelarr was separated from the only home he had ever known, he had her. She who so kindly leant her support, who pressed her side into his. She let him know that she was here without ever having to speak. Vahaelarr felt a warmth wash over him, but it was not enough to thaw the frigid cold that had begun to freeze over his heart, over his soul. He was scorned, he was a traitor. He had begun to doubt himself in so many more ways than just one ever since Ludon had turned his back on him. 

Yes. That. Ludon turned his back on him. It was slow, but his sorrow had begun to shift into anger. Into resentment. But how could it be? How could he look upon Ludon in such a way? To regard his little brother, who had always looked up to him, with such coldness? He couldn't. He cursed the emotion, and soon it became fleeting. Vahaelarr hardly managed to bring himself to look at Gjalla, but somehow he did, and his eyes wet with tears peered painfully into her softened gaze. He felt too much at once. For Ludon, he felt sadness. For himself, he felt shame. For Gjalla, he felt... no. He couldn't admit it to himself. Admitting it meant accepting it, and he wasn't ready for that. He wasn't ready to face the reality that threatened to close in on him and choke the air from his lungs.

He had fallen in love with the Princess he'd sworn to protect. Wasn't it such a cliche? 

Vahaelarr inhaled her scent and he nearly choked on his words, his voice nothing but a hoarse rasp, vocals grated from snarling and shouting at his brother. “I wish I could say you were right.” He whispered. He looked away once more, and though he didn't want to tear himself away from her, he did. He moved, lifting himself to his stout paws and he turned away from her, an attempt to shield herself from him. He had only caused pain and grief and anger and even death to those he cared for. He liked to think he had been born a Hero, but life's cruelty had turned him a villain. Adorre would be alive if Vahaelarr had never existed. She would be the Heir to Winterhelm, and Ludon would still have his twin flame. Venaday would not hate him. 

Gjalla's question sent him down memory lane once again and Vahaelarr fought the urge to choke on bile. “I told him about Velaris. That I wouldn't be coming home. And it spiraled from there.” He answered. “I can not be the man he wants me to be and so I have failed him. And because I am not that man, I could never be good enough for you, Gjalla.” The words came rambling out before he could stop them and Vahaelarr's breath hitched, surprise gripping him by the throat. He was speaking before he was thinking. 

“You deserve more. Better.” Suddenly, his molars gritted together. “But this new man I am... he is selfish. I dare say,” He swallowed as he looked at her, “I do not want you to have better if it's not me.”

the staff team luvs u

The prince parted from her side once more, only moments before the distance was closed. Gjalla yearned to stand with him, creep closer to reassure him, but he was vulnerable. As he spoke of the conversation with Ludon and the events that followed, she listened intently, absorbing the pain and frustration in his words.
 
"Ludon has no right to judge you, kin or not." Gjalla's words came like a hiss, but the aggression wasn't directed at him. Her brow knitted as annoyance swirled in her head. Ludon thought it a betrayal, yet Vahaelarr was banished, rendering his return impossible, even if he desired it. "Your decisions are yours alone." In an instant, his filter dropped, voice changing to fit the topic of them.
 
The shock of his admission registered on her face, but there was nothing but love in her eyes. And then, as his words took an unexpected turn, she felt her heart race. His words consumed her wholly, ears forced forward to truly hear him. Her chest tightened, heat blooming across her skin.
 
Suddenly, admittance never felt so easy. The raw confession hung in the air, and Gjalla couldn't fight the smile that tugged the corners of her mouth upward.  "My sun and stars," she started, her voice laced with warmth, "you misunderstand." Pale eyes met his own without hesitation. "I do not want that man."
 
"I want you."

the staff team luvs u

She smiled, one could say even grinned and Vahaelarr thought, for just a moment, she was amused by him. Idiot. He had spoken out of line, laid his heart out to be seen when he shouldn't have. A fool he was to think there was a possibility, it was a mistake--

But then he met her eyes. Warmth, affection, love. She swallowed him whole in the gaze she enraptured him with and Vahae, despite his attempts at distancing himself from her, found himself drifting closer. To be near her. He knew not when he'd moved but suddenly he was there, his shoulder pressing against hers, his neck tilting downwards so that he might bring their faces closer together so he could catch a better view of her face. 

“Swear it to me, Princess.” He urged. He had never made demands of her before, not that he could remember, but now he did. Because what she spoke, what she said, could change everything completely. It spoke of something more, that they would be... were... more than Princess and Knight. He leaned his head closer to her, offering his forehead to her, a plea for physical touch that needed not words. He relished in the shared moment of silence, the intimacy of it like the warmth of a hearth.

And then Vahaelarr lifted his paw and brought it to his mouth, slicing his scarred paw pad with his own incisors. As the warm ichor trickled down the length of his foreleg, he held it aloft so that Gjalla might do the same. Might press her own bleeding paw to his. 

“Ānogar Letagon will bind us forever.”

the staff team luvs u

"I swear it, Vahaelarr. By the old gods and the new," Gjalla assured him, but it felt unnecessary. Her eyes told him more than words ever could. She met his unspoken plea with a soft and affectionate touch, tucking her chin to press the crown of her head to his. 
 
Well-read, Gjalla understood the significance of Ānogar Letagon, and she didn't hesitate. She lowered her head, mirroring his actions as she bit into her own paw pad, drawing forth beads of ichor. Their blood mingled in contact, and she'd delivered another gentle kiss to his nose. "Ānogar Letagon, now and forever. I am yours." she declared, her voice carrying the weight of a sacred oath, a solemn promise meant for him and him alone.
 
Their connection went deeper than titles or allegiance. From their youth, they were together. Now, they would be something more without restraint.

the staff team luvs u

It would have been impossible to consume her whole, but he would if he could. To breathe her in, to feel all that she was thrum through his blood. He had been blind to the true extent of what Gjalla made him feel. When he was near her, his heart soared. Strength billowed through his blood, coursing adrenaline through each corner of his body. He was riding on a high that had never been felt, experienced, before in his life. He had waited for this. Since he was a boy who dreamt of love and one day having what his parents had. But this was different from what he'd seen his parents share. Their love couldn't possibly touch what Vahaelarr felt for Gjalla...

He was fully convinced of that. As her paw pressed to his, and her soft words whispered to him and only him, his eyelids fluttered closed. Forehead to forehead, Vahaelarr's nose brushed thinly, softly against hers. When he opened his eyes again, he found himself staring into those periwinkle ones she possessed, and he felt as if he were flying. Soaring. She promised herself to him, and only him, and he vowed then and there he would slaughter any and all who would dare try and pry his love away from him. He was not a murderer. But for her, he'd be anything. He could be anything. Even a killer.

“And I am yours.” He whispered. He pulled his head away from her, only to rest his chin atop her head, to tuck her beneath him and against his chest so that he might hold her. He didn't wish to let her go. His nose brushed calmly to her ear, his warm vox dripping with a sweet affection held only for what was his. “I once dreamed of cresting the tallest mountain of my home and marrying the woman I loved there. I can't now. But you make it so easy to forget that dream.” He breathed. “Wherever you are is home.”

the staff team luvs u