Makes me feel like I can't live without you

— gonna aim for shorter responses to keep up the speed!

In the middle of the night his dreams had taken hold again. He could feel Kronos ripping him apart, eating him whole, he could hear his mother's pleas for mercy. He woke up with panic rising in his throat to a point where his breath felt too fast and too hot. He carefully moved away from Persephone and Poseidon, trying not to wake either of them up as he had his little moment. When he was far enough away he ran - ran until he collapsed in the snow beneath the stars, not too far from the clearing where they'd found the rock pile their first day of exploring the forest. 

He swept a few armfulls of snow against his face, nuzzling into it to try and register a sensation in him other than panic. He hated the feeling. He hated those memories. He remembered scars cutting across him - striking across his chest and stomach where he'd been ripped apart. His father's cruel voice and laughter was still ringing in his head.
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Styx did not sleep. At least she did not believe that she did; often she had seen both sunrise and sunset, had watched the moon arc its way through the night sky when it would be clear. All days bled together, their events blended and jumbled like muddy waters disturbed by a less than graceful touch. The world was a chaotic place and she, in the middle of it all, had admirable apathy towards it.

But not Hades. No, she had seen him go streaking past as nothing more than a darker shadow against frost-covered grounds; she had heard the beat of his footfalls against the pack of the snow where the night had hardened it once more from the day’s melt. She had sensed his fear in that fleeting moment and it intrigued her so in ways she could not remember, nor would she try to.

And like a feathery wisp, she followed.

When she found him, he had buried his face into the snow and that aura of anguish was a very tangible thing. Her half-lidded gaze could have almost found it, that very seam, but was drawn away to the night sky as it broke through the canopy. So very vivid… comforting… alluring…

Her steps had drawn her close and she halted herself, lest she stepped right over him to keep going in an aimless direction. Her attention refocused in the blink of an eye, her head dropping to survey the self-imposed restriction that he had placed himself in. It wasn’t just anguish here that she sensed, but fear. The heave of his chest, the tenseness in his body—this was not the first time.

“You feel it, do you not? The echo of a past life.”

Stilted and strange, distant—that was her tone.

It was as though she were really not there at all.
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Hades almost felt her approach. There was always something about Styx that was different, and he remembered working together in a sense. He still took a few moments until he'd caught his breath before he lifted his head, the snow mostly melted against his fur where the heat had touched it the most. "I do. And I don't understand it, but the nightmares have never stopped." Hades admitted. It was painful to put into words but he pushed himself up to sitting up, looking Styx over. "When did you get here?" Hades asked - and he knew she'd lived through different planes and realms too, just as he had. This was just the first new feeling in a long time and he found it disorienting after millenia of existing before. 

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His question hung in the air between them.

“I have always been here,” she said; she knew it wasn't the answer he was seeking, but she had been a constant in whatever world it was that they had existed. Whatever realm they breached, it mattered not. Styx didn't bother keeping track of time. It was an impossible effort, a construct that didn't matter. They lived, they died, they lived again—the cutcome would always be the same and they would always be continuously reborn into another world and into something else.

Her gaze left him once again, her voice picking up where it had left off: “This place is new, however. Beautiful,” she stated, breathing out. “Ever green. Perhaps you will learn to let go and find peace here. Perhaps rot will not taint that which holds beauty.” It was like a riddle, a puzzle that could not be solved. She did not know or recall the depths of what hell infested and plagued his mind, nor did she understand the lacking simplicity of merely letting go and the difficulties therein. But he was of a deep, dark well of the world, that she did remember.
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Styx was as she always had been. Hades nodded, casting his gaze across her to see that she was much the same to him. Styx was otherworldly even to those of other worlds. She didn't speak clearly and bluntly, but, even her riddles held great wisdom if one was keen enough to gleam the truth from them. "If I'm lucky." Hades said quietly in response. He wouldn't pretend that he didn't have his own issues - a whole host of them, after all, that kept him up late at night and that woke him from peaceful slumber when he did find it. "The forest is different, it's.....it's so different from home." Hades said quietly. His eyes turned from Styx up to the cold expanse of the trees.

The snow was starting to melt and then the cold would hold it through the night again. Hades was starting to recognize the difference here rather than where he'd lived before. In this forest he was completely surrounded by life and the vision of everything new and bright. "It's been good to us so far. The forest has kept us fed and safe, we've barely seen anyone in it's depths. There are hollows and all kinds of things all in it, too." Hades could show her around but she seemed just as content to explore on her own. "It's a welcome change - all this life around me compared to the death I'm usually surrounded by."

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Surrounded by all the life when he was so used to death—the notion made her smile very faintly. Like she often came and went, it was gone just as it had appeared; ghastly, teasing, something along those lines without her even considering it. Her gaze did not find him as she surveyed their surroundings better, even there in that little opening between copse and canopy.

“There is plenty of death here too,” she hummed, “but that is what makes it beautiful. What makes life beautiful. This world was built on the back of ash and bone, just like all the others. And it will happen, again and again, and again.” It would happen to them, no questions asked. It was cyclical, for they would die and be consumed to nourish, and somehow, some way, exist once again.

She believed in that as feverishly and fervently as she believed she would continue to draw breath. Breathing out in a steady plume to the crisp air, she heaved a content sigh to the world.

“You have always been lucky, Hades,” she went on then. “Do not forget that. The veil between the worlds is not as great here as it was in the last one. Life and death, they co-exist here. I sense it.” Her voice lost the ethereal, rooting itself more confidently in the present; her gaze hardened on the frosty evergreens before turning on him sharply.

“More will come, too. The course of the river has changed for us.”
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^^He'd caught the smile as it curved her lip upwards, ghosting away with the next heartbeat, but Hades treasured it all the same. Styx was a bit of an enigma and had always been. xistance was something that it seemed Styx always had such a better understanding of - even over the King of Death. She didn't seem as hung up on the notions like Hades often got, stuck in the little details the way that he often ended up. He listened to her almost cryptic message, his eyes fixed on her with rapt attention. He was lucky and he knew it. He understood that there was of course so much worse that could have befallen him.

“I've found more than I expected.” Hades admitted - and he felt lucky for that, too. Surprised and lucky. “Are you going to stay here? I want to stay together as much as we can while we figure this world out.” He explained simply. “This forest, it's good for us right now.” Not perfect, not the same as a whole world but he had nothing but his paws to carry him and for right now it was a good home. They'd keep it.^^
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“Perhaps,” she said with a roll of her shoulders. Whether she stayed or she went, Styx could not decide for herself. She would simply go where she was guided towards, pulled along by whatever entities saw fit. Like the rest of them, she was merely a play toy for something greater, and had long deigned and condemned herself to such.

“Though I would think by now you would know that I am far away for long,” she went on, turning back to the depths of the forest that held them so. “I think I might like to see what this world has to offer in it too.” Even a river had its branches and she was no different; she possessed free will and went where she pleased. But she always seemed to turn up when she was needed or not, even in ways she could not explain.

And even if she could, would she have wanted to?

Or would she be able to? It did not seem outside the realm of possibility that if she were to the words would be snatched out of the air, her tongue speared, and voice stolen. For all the good in the world she had seen afar she had seen just as many unspeakable horrors and perhaps, were she able to explain some finer intricacy of the larger picture it would unleash some eldritch abomination. A world ender of a sort, a waterfall into a bottomless chasm to leave her entombed in free fall.

Laughable, really.

“You should consider a walkabout yourself. Go and see what there is, get your perspectives. To stay here will require awareness of our surroundings,” and she thought it an opportunity for him to let go but did not say as much. “Best to look to the course ahead than the one behind, would you agree?” Even if the King of the Underworld dealt with the lamentations of those of the past and of the recent passed, he still possessed foresight.
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^^Styx didn't give him the solid answer he'd hoped for - and maybe because she had always been in his realm he'd just expected her to stay. How could he try and box her in when she was given freedom in this way though? Hades didn't argue the fact or make demands of her - she'd been there before him, it seemed, and she'd be there long after no doubt. This was one of the things that Hades had always taken comfort in. “It's different than ours,” Hades agreed - but he hadn't been hit by any desires yet to go out and explore. He'd been taken with the forest almost immediately. It helped that Persephone liked it too.

“What's behind us is all fog anyways. I can't see it clearly and I wonder if it's my own doing or if there is a reason.” Hades admitted, blue eyes keenly fixed to Styx' face. “Some seem to remember everything, some nothing. I would assume there is a reason for it all but you guess is as good as mine.” Sometimes better, if he was truthful. He was at least getting more confident even in what he didn't know. Some things, like his nightmares, never left him. Other things were softer - things he associated with good overall. Maybe he'd find something between those great divides that could be easier on him.

“Even if you do wander, you'll have a home here with us if you want it.” It was some reassurance - if she needed a tether they'd give it. “For now we focus on the Forest. We'll take some day trips and see what's around us too.” It was a smart move and Hades wasn't exactly used to this world and it's evolving changes. They'd stood as the leaders of the three realms and had gone unchallenged for so long it was a foreign concept. It would be humbling to learn otherwise.^^
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There it was, the makings of the ruler that she knew him to be. Gracious, perhaps, a thing that one would not normally associate with someone who had long stood and reigned over the underworld. But the thing most forgot was that the underworld itself was more than just a purgatory or hell—it was a home for even the dearly departed, deities or not.

A paper thin smile unfurled on her features briefly at his offer of a home; she considered herself among them, even if she meandered. It was simply how it had always been and in some sense, she was the wandering, twisting soul who navigated light and dark like a clear seam.

“Perhaps I will start that for you,” she said, believing that to be her purpose. “I had planned to anyway, but I will share what I learn as always. We will navigate this world like we have all others.” And as before and after, she would find the souls to fill their quarries full.
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— why do you have the most wonderful voice for her??? I just swoon with every post regardless of whats going on lol

^^He watched her features for a moment, head tilted the slightest bit as he contemplated what she was thinking. She'd always been a mystery but he'd never felt threatened by not knowing everything. Hades didn't want to know everything. Not when it came to those who'd never done harm with their intentions. Styx had never been deceitful to him. Hades found the older he got the more he needed people that he could trust.

“Just...keep us aware, yeah?” He spared a smile when she said she'd start meandering. They didn't need to lock down. It wasn't his style really, either. He much rather would have let everyone do as they pleased within reason anyways. “And call us if you need us. Too bad Hermes isn't here.” Hades added as an afterthought. That would always complicate things if they didn't have any of the abilities they'd taken for granted in their divine forms.^^
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my reaction to ur comment but also this one too

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“Hermes,” she said with a soft note too difficult to decide if it was humored or annoyed. “A pleasant one, that boy, however you know I do my best work alone. He has always been your errand boy better than mine.” Though granted, he would have eagerly taken up the work and probably taken to it far quicker and swifter on the return that Styx.

She meandered and did thing her way—Hermes got things done.

“But nevertheless, you need not worry. I will relay information to you and touch base often. I have no intention of slipping into the void somewhere, at least not today.” Her smile went sly for a brief beat, but the waning lucidity of her gaze frittered it away for another time. “What do you suppose you will do next?”
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^^Hermes wasn't exactly Hades' favorite. He had no problems exactly with the fleet footed man but his enthusiasm was so over the top Hades didn't know what to do with that energy. The irony in his differences from Thanatos was vast and the King revelled in the two being squared against one another. He'd admit that should anyone ask him, too. “But he'd be useful to send messages while you were out enjoying yourself.” Hades pointed out. Though if Styx did stop in it would reassure him too. Ultimately the idea of her making more frequent trips pleased him. “I'll talk to Persephone about a day trip. See where the river takes us toward the North.” He said. Her suggestion wasn't a bad one by any means.

“You'd be surprised how many have turned up here. I wonder if that means we're all around the area - just waiting to find each other.” Hades looked to her to gauge her viewpoint there, too, a low grin on his face. He could only imagine how Zeus might feel showing up in somewhere and stuck like this.^^
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The mention of Persephone curled the edges of her lips ever so slightly; it did not take a rocket scientist to know that the two would be inseparable in this lifetime too. She had known this the moment she had found the flower dryad in their timber; she had known it in the way that she had spoken as though she already held some sort of command over it all. An echo of another lifetime, something locked away but still powerful enough to seep out of the keyhole in a thin wisp.

“I am sure that is the case,” she murmured in response, thinking. “This realm is most unusual in comparison to all I can remember. I believe there is a seam like before, like a line in the sand between light and dark. Which means for all the good we find there will be opposition had as well; it would pay us to keep that in mind.” There would always be checks and balances to the scale, even in their mythos.
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^^Styx found it different too, and, it made Hades relax the slightest bit. Styx had been there before he had - she was one of the firsts, held in the highest regard. “No one expects Elysium.” He mused, offering her a gentle smile. “I've never been quite the one for peace and joy anyways.” Hades had a reputation to uphold after all. Only his nieces really managed to break him of it, not with his nephews' particular talents for causing him more work. How had the lost memories of Ares just flitted in as easily as they had, only to be little help in understanding?

The King shook his head and cast a nod towards the river. “At least stay the rest of the day, we'll make sure you're set before you head out to your exploration.” He offered. It would be good to have more in their little group for a bit and to make sure that they were all on the same page.::
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wrapping this up

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With a graceful nod to him, she decided she could do that at the very least. One day of rest wouldn’t delay her from what she intended to do and just as stated before, all things were held in checks and balances. She did not know the limits of this corporeal form, but something told her that for now it was wiser not to find out.

“I have no intentions of stray too far, but for tonight I will remain here,” she announced. She moved then, closer to him, enough to nudge and urge him along. “Show me your forest that you’ve found, Hades. Let us unravel a secret or two for today,” for she knew without saying so, that there would be many things that they would uncover in due time.

And with that, she let him take the lead to begin such an undertaking.
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